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Monday, August 5, 2013

The Agent Greeting Contest is Open!

The Agent Greeting Contest is closed.

Dear Manly face Agent:



My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting. 

One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.

Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)

Technically your manuscript does not need to be finished or polished, but it might be a good idea. 

Dear Scooter Pie Agent:

In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.

If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.

Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:

The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents. 

A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address. 

Dear Alien-abducted agent:

I will post the winners on August 8th.

That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!


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55 comments:

  1. S.A. TurnbullAugust 5, 2013 at 12:04 PM

    Dear Soon-to-be-Sockless Agent:

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shellie BraeunerAugust 5, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    Dear Globetrotting agent(stop)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AightballAugust 5, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    Earday Agentay owhay isay ymay eamdray agentay...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Carol AyerAugust 5, 2013 at 12:21 PM

    Dear
    A dmirable
    G orgeous
    E nlightened
    N oser-out of
    T alent,

    ReplyDelete
  5. HEATHER LYNNE DAVISAugust 5, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    Dear Agent-Who-Will-Finally-Get-the-Incredibly-Meaningful-Subtleties-of-My-Exciting-Futuristic-YA-Romance-Novel...

    Thanks for the contest! Lighthearted is always good!

    ReplyDelete
  6. prerna pickettAugust 5, 2013 at 12:34 PM

    Dear Agent who will make me a millionaire

    ReplyDelete
  7. heidi heiligAugust 5, 2013 at 12:36 PM

    Dare Agent

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jennifer SwansonAugust 5, 2013 at 1:04 PM

    Dear Creatively Inventive Agent

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pamela BrunskillAugust 5, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    Dear Dream-Maker:

    ReplyDelete
  10. PatchiAugust 5, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    Dear agent-who-will-keep-me-pulling-my-hair-off-until-I-hear-a-reply

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownAugust 5, 2013 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Agent Whom I Less-Than Three:

    ReplyDelete
  12. AbigailAugust 5, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    Dear keeper of ALL the words,

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownAugust 5, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    Dear Probably (Hopefully) Normal Person to Whom I've Assigned an Inordinate Amount of Importance

    ReplyDelete
  14. Carolyn Chambers ClarkAugust 5, 2013 at 1:40 PM

    Dear Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  15. K CallardAugust 5, 2013 at 1:42 PM

    Dear Agentus Maximus.

    ReplyDelete
  16. MeredithAugust 5, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Dear Future Surrogate Parent to My Precious Baby

    ReplyDelete
  17. amiAugust 5, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    Dear Prom Queen Dream Launching Liaison & Pretty Please Don't Dear Author Me I heart you Shmoopie Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousAugust 5, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    Dear Internationally Super Famous, Uber-Extraordinary, Soon to be Zillionaire Agent

    ReplyDelete
  19. HeatherCRaglinAugust 5, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Dear Maker of Dreams-Keeper of Words-Fantabulously Busy Agent

    ReplyDelete
  20. UnknownAugust 5, 2013 at 2:34 PM

    Dear Talent Cultivator, Career Shaper, and Future Money Maker,

    ReplyDelete
  21. Michelle BarryAugust 5, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    Dear Word Wielding, Manuscript Magic Making, Sorcerer of Stories, Agent

    ReplyDelete
  22. raballardAugust 5, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    Dear _____________________ form rejecter, query ignorer, wishlister,
    #pitchmaddness requester, not for me-er, I have to passer, askagenter.

    ReplyDelete
  23. MelissaAugust 5, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    Dear Agent of Tired, Poor, Huddled Writers Yearning to be Read,

    Thanks, Michelle, for a fun contest!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Jeff NAugust 5, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    To Whom It Most Definitely Concerns:

    ReplyDelete
  25. Melissa OblitasAugust 5, 2013 at 4:37 PM

    Dear Light of My Hook, Fire of My Synopsis

    ReplyDelete
  26. MeganAugust 5, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Dear Sir, Agent, Sir:

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousAugust 5, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    Dear Most Splendiferous Gatekeeper of the Hallowed Halls of Publishing Legitimacy,

    ReplyDelete
  28. CarynAugust 5, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    Dear breathing a sigh of relief to discover this is about psychic adaptions and espionage and not about vampires and/or dystopian futures Agent!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Amanda LeighAugust 5, 2013 at 5:48 PM

    Dear Reader of My Precious, the one query to rule them all,

    ReplyDelete
  30. Jamie KrakoverAugust 5, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    Dear Agent Who Must Not Be Named

    ReplyDelete
  31. RenaAugust 5, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    Dear Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey Agent,

    (Although, even with a timelord agent, I bet we'd still have to wait!)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Liz PenneyAugust 5, 2013 at 10:30 PM

    Dear Agent looking for love...of manuscript

    ReplyDelete
  33. Mark McNultyAugust 5, 2013 at 11:13 PM

    Dear Saint Agent Literati of the Immaculate Acceptance,

    Receive my query...

    ReplyDelete
  34. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM

    Dear Hope my query stands out like a princess at a hag convention Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  35. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    Dear hopefully-chocolate-loving Agent

    ReplyDelete
  36. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM

    Dear Loves-A-Good-Happily-Ever-After-As-Much-As-I-Do Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  37. Kissed by InkAugust 6, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Dear Super Hero, Cape-Wearing Agent Who Has Come to Save My Day,

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sherri Cook WoosleyAugust 6, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    Dear Speculative Fiction-reading Imaginator who both appreciates world-building AND can make those business-y phone calls,

    ReplyDelete
  39. Deborah Holt WilliamsAugust 6, 2013 at 10:05 AM

    Dear Agent who doesn't like stories in rhyme but just might change her mind this time,

    ReplyDelete
  40. erin pettiAugust 6, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    Dear omg, did you get your hair cut? It looks amazing. I'm not kidding. I could never pull that off but you really have the face for it, you know?

    ReplyDelete
  41. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 10:30 AM

    Dear Obsessed book addict who loves the sound of a turning page and has bloodshot eyes from all-nighters involving books...not booze...well perhaps!

    ReplyDelete
  42. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    Dearest Agent upon whom I heap six years of unfulfilled hopes and dreams,

    ReplyDelete
  43. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    Dear Agen--ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOAGENT!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Kimberly KayAugust 6, 2013 at 12:02 PM

    Dear agent who is DOOMED to fall madly in love with my excessive typefaces--because everyone loves those, yeah?

    ReplyDelete
  45. MadseasongirlAugust 6, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    Dear Spidey-Sensing, Batarang-Tossing, Agent of Steel,

    ReplyDelete
  46. UnknownAugust 6, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    <3 Dear Eternal-Beloved-of-Literary-Darkness Agent <3

    ReplyDelete
  47. KBaileyAugust 6, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    "Dear LOOK...AT...ME." *

    *while you cannot see it per restrictions of the comment box, this ideal greeting would include a super-imposed image of Severus Snape.

    ReplyDelete
  48. AnonymousAugust 6, 2013 at 11:46 PM

    Dear Adventure Finding Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  49. ashlandAugust 6, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    Dear Secret Agent Ma'am,

    They gave me your number, now please take down my name.

    ReplyDelete
  50. UnknownAugust 7, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    Dear rejection-slinging bad query killing Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  51. Cristin BruggemanAugust 7, 2013 at 1:49 AM

    Dear Sitting Up To Take Notice Agent

    ReplyDelete
  52. Karen deBlieckAugust 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM

    Dear--just in case you don't get past the greeting my book is written in iambic pentameter and is about robot vampires who yearn to find the secret song of the Dromon and is completed at 300,000 words--Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  53. Kindra KAugust 7, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    Dear (pick me!) Agent (pick me!),

    ReplyDelete
  54. Sandi PerryAugust 7, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    Dear Free Agent Who I'd Gladly Pay For The Proper Exposure Except I'm Too Classy Or Proud Or Poor...Pick Me! Pick Me!

    ReplyDelete

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