tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-308214465210382791.post9058556435093952041..comments2024-03-26T01:28:27.414-04:00Comments on It's In The Details: Spring Query Extravaganza #9Michelle 4 Laughshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06876457259362839114noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-308214465210382791.post-70662033078218075982014-05-15T11:04:56.577-04:002014-05-15T11:04:56.577-04:00I'm not very comfortable with romantic novels,...I'm not very comfortable with romantic novels, but I'll give it a try.<br />The hook confuses me more than that it entices or well, hooks me. Even more confusing after I've read the rest. Who is in prison?<br />What I'm most curious about after reading your query is how you tell the story. I know that doesn't come into a query but seeing how the query is presented, I'm wondering if you switch POV between the two MCs?<br />If that's not the case, maybe make it a bit clearer whose POV carries the story?<br />And I agree with Eric on the Boston marathon. First thing I thought of when I read "marathon runners".<br />Not sure how helpful this is. Sorry.<br />Good luck!<br />MaykenMaykenhttp://www.maykenbruenings.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-308214465210382791.post-56524650911647203862014-05-09T08:27:04.996-04:002014-05-09T08:27:04.996-04:00Thank you so much for the feedback, Michelle and E...Thank you so much for the feedback, Michelle and Eric! The comments are spot on and so helpful.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16893358447050715953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-308214465210382791.post-73130644785919617352014-05-08T09:29:20.946-04:002014-05-08T09:29:20.946-04:00Reposting this from my writing account: Michelle d...Reposting this from my writing account: Michelle did a great job on the line editing, so I'll examine it conceptually. Of course, the first thing I thought of was what happened a year ago in Boston. Maybe in a few years this real life tragedy wouldn't loom over your plot, but right now it does. Also, if he's a suspect wouldn't he want FBI personnel to like him? I'm also wondering who is in prison--is it Nolan? Like Michelle, this may be too much of a giveaway to events later in the plot.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05305127318491256628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-308214465210382791.post-87051369632262222352014-05-08T09:26:57.420-04:002014-05-08T09:26:57.420-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08956312055144699610noreply@blogger.com