Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Query Kombat 2014 Round 3 Wrap Up

Round 3 of Query Kombat is officially over, and we've got our Elite 8! Kontestants may revise their entries one last time to gear up for the next round. Have those revisions back tonight!  This round promises to be positively painful.

I hope the judges are ready for heartbreak. 





Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. 


Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Lavender Marriage
A Cozy for Geeks
Making Boys Cry
Girl Destroys World
Tag, You're Dead
Shalom Sasquatch
BingBamBoomBFF

Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike 

CONGRATS to all who made it. To those who didn't, you fought valiantly. You should be proud of yourselves. Agent requests are posted on your Agent round entry. (Remember to send 50 pages and put Query Kombat in your subject line.)

Round 3 will be hosted on Mike's blog. It starts on June 25th and will run through June 26th. That's only two days people! FEEL FREE TO CHEERLEAD YOUR HEARTS OUT IN THIS ROUND AS LONG AS YOU DO SO RESPECTFULLY!


Best of luck combatants.

Round 4 match ups are listed below

 

Tag, You're Dead VS BingBamBoomBFF

Shalom Sasquatch VS Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper

A Cozy For Geeks VS Lavender Marriage

Making Boys Cry VS Girl Destroys World


Monday, June 23, 2014

Getting the Call with Natasha Neagle

Some of the happiest posts I put on this blog are sharing writers' Getting the Call stories. Joy! Because today I can bring you the Call story of a lady who is always helpful and entertaining. We helped host Pitch Slam together and not long after, she was sharing her own happy news. A big congrats to Natasha Neagle! 





Michelle, thank you for the opportunity to share my story with your readers. Spoiler alert: Kermit flailing is involved.

In February of this year, I began drafting my second novel. I needed something to do while my first novel, a YA Fantasy—in it’s third rewrite—sat in the TBR pile of a handful of agents. I shifted gears and decided to try my hand at a thriller. I found that while writing my fantasy, the scenes that came the easiest were the ones packed with action. I knew from the start I wanted the novel to be loaded with diversity. My main character is bisexual, but this is anything but a coming out book. There are enough of them out there. I also wanted to have a character in a wheelchair because they are lacking from the bookshelves as well. He became one of my favorite characters to write.

By the beginning of April, my thriller was finished—the fastest I’d ever completed a manuscript, and in the hands of my beloved CPs and Beta team members. Edits were swift, the feedback was positive, and my query was polished. With the help of Twitter and random conversation, I found agents interested in my manuscript before I finished editing. I’d also had an agent pass on my previous fantasy manuscript because she said it would be a hard sell right now, but wanted to see the next thing I wrote. While this made me excited to query, I was still terrified. Eventually, I worked up the courage to hit send.

On and off for the next two weeks, I received emails from interested agents. Unfortunately, I also received rejections. Trying not to obsess over my inbox, I decided to busy myself by plotting a new shiny thriller that wouldn’t leave me alone (yay for persistent plot bunnies). I was excited to start working on my new shiny idea when I received an email. I’d given Andrea Somberg at Harvey Klinger, Inc the full manuscript around dinner time and thanks to my son (AKA Evil Genius) sleepwalking into my bedroom at 1am, I did what most people with queries out do: I checked my email.

And boy did I have an email. It was THE email.

Andrea said she was in love with my manuscript. She told me she couldn’t put it down. She wanted to talk ASAP. I pinched myself because I had to be dreaming. I checked the timestamp because I’d checked my email before I went to bed. OMG, she had just sent it. It was 1am. Insert Kermit flailing at full force and a squee that woke my cats, but not my husband.

I responded immediately. Do you have any idea how hard it is to type and flail like a drunk muppet? Yeah, not easy! We set up a time to talk during daylight hours, since I already had a call set up with another agent for later that day. As if talking to one agent wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, I planned to talk to two.

You read about how to react when you talk to an agent on the phone, and how nervous you’ll probably be, but as strange as it sounds, I wasn’t. As soon as I heard the excitement in Andrea’s voice, my nerves subsided. We talked about my manuscript like it was a show on TV, and we were two friends catching up. Her enthusiasm for my characters and the novel left me speechless. I might have said once or twice that I loved her for saying those things. Her vision of where she wanted to take the manuscript in terms of publishing and her response to all the plot twists I had in store gave me that warm and fuzzy feeling–she was the one.

Everyone should have an agent that fangirl’s over their writing. I never thought I’d find one to do that for me, but I did. With my fantasy novel, I almost gave up on writing. Instead, I turned it into a learning experience. Now, that I’ve found my person, I’m going to be a Pitch Wars mentor, hoping to help someone find their agent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha Neagle writes diverse YA thrillers about characters with more guts than her. She considers herself a diehard fictional character shipper and has way too much fun shopping for makeup and shoes. She is a firm believer that the best way to hear music is live, and can always be found on Twitter, especially if Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead is on. Natasha lives in Northern Virginia with her superhero husband, two crazy-smart kids, and their demon-possessed cats.  


My links:

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Query Kombat 2014 Round 3

Round 3 of Query Kombat has started and is over on SC's blog. This one promises to be a heart breaker. I can't decide whether to look or wait until it is all over! The judges have until Monday, June 23 to cast their votes.



Friday, June 20, 2014

Want diversity? Support Hadley Rille Books

I see so much everywhere lately about diversity in books and reading what you love (YA being the subject being talked down). But do people support what they preach?  Here's a chance to help ensure diversity in books.

The quality small press Hadley Rille Books needs your support. This small press specializes in featuring new voices from women and other historically marginalized points of view in fantasy, science fiction and historical fiction.

Not only can you earn great prizes such as books, manuscript edits, and t-shirts, you'll be helping out a publisher that supports our diverse writing community. 

"We believe that the literary world needs more diverse voices, so we make a special effort to publish more women authors and to offer stories that feature women in prominent roles. Our stories portray both women and men as active, complex, interesting characters. Our novels, novellas, and short stories feature women of all ages and from all walks of life who play key roles in the histories of their people. In addition, Hadley Rille has made a professional commitment to help encourage and promote women’s involvement in the SFF community through projects like the Heroines of Fantasy blog and author appearances on panels and at conventions that engage with women’s changing roles as both authors and characters.
Our authors and their work have earned many prestigious honors and awards, including Nebula and Hugo nominations. Many of our titles have garnered praise and positive reviews in industry review publications such as Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, Locus and Library Journal. Our books have made their way into libraries across the globe. Some of our novels are already in translation for distribution in languages other than English; by the end of the decade, Hadley Rille books intends to branch more fully into the international market and reach the hands, minds and hearts of even more readers."

Check out their fund raiser here and do your part to ensuring the continued existence of a quality small press. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Query Questions with Sarah LaPolla

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

 



Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!

If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.


I've got a great interview to sneak in between Query Kombat rounds. Thanks to Sarah LaPolla of The Bradford Literary Agency for taking the time to answer all these query slush questions! 



Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
- I read my queries in the order I receive them, no matter what. Writers should be aware of the times when publishing is busy or people are less likely to be at their desks - these are the same times as most other companies, so it shouldn't take a lot of guesswork: holidays, end of the year, summer. Responses to queries are going to be slower during these times, but writers shouldn't think they can't query because of it. 

Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
Absolutely not! Typos happen. Copyeditors will fix your misplaced comma. But, queries are short. If 5 "typos" and a few grammatical errors happen in a query... that's a problem. Proofread before sending.

Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
Only if the query is strong. Though, I have looked at sample pages when I thought maybe the query was missing the mark, but I saw potential in the story anyway. 

Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
I'm assistant- and intern-free. I read everything I receive and everything I request, and I answer everything myself.

If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
My guidelines ask for the first 5 pages. A prologue would fall under that, so yes. If the sample pages don't include it, and it's there when I request the manuscript, I'd question whether the author really needed it if I was engaged by the opening without it.

Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?
It's not a good idea to query multiple agents at the same agencies at the same time. It depends on their policy and the size of the agency, but you can usually query another agent after one agent passes on it. We do refer people to each other though. At my agency, we represent fairly different genres and styles, but in the event I get a query for something I don't handle, but one of my colleagues does, I would definitely pass it on if I thought it had potential. 

Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
Queries are a business letter. I need to know what the book is about. That comes first. I like when writers infuse their own personalities too, and I think it's a good idea to include a line or two that personalizes the query. But, sometimes I see writers who wait three paragraphs to tell me what their book is about and by that point I've already lost interest. 

Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
It's not a red flag necessarily, but it does influence how I read the query. If I can't tell what I'm requesting, I'm less likely to request it.

Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?
Only name the characters who directly influence the outcome of the plot. Often this is just the main character and the second most important character (love interest/rival/best friend/family member). For novels with larger casts of characters, stick to only who matters. We don't need to know every friend or person they meet along the way. For the query, we only need the basics.

Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?
Titles are often changed so no one should stay married to any particular title, but if I see that no thought went into it or it's something I've seen hundreds of times before (or the name of well-known published books), it colors my judgment a little. I want to know the writer has thought about their novel, even when it comes to aspects that may change, because really, the book itself will be edited too. That doesn't mean you shouldn't self-edit first.

How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
I average about 100 a week and request maybe 3-6 manuscripts a month. 

Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
This answer is different for non-fiction authors, but I only represent fiction, so I'll answer for fiction writers only. If a writer has a huge, celebrity-level platform, that can influence me, but only if I'm already interested in their book. 5,000 followers and 200 devoted blog readers is a nice presence for a debut author, but it isn't going to influence me at all. All I care about is 1) Do I love your book? and 2) Would we work well together? 

Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
I think those links are fine to add within your bio or at the end of the query. If a query has too many links though, it might get redirected to the spam folder. So, use caution and good judgment. 

If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?
A writer shouldn't query their manuscript until they feel it's ready. Once it's sent out, you should probably leave it alone and work on something new. If the revision is major - meaning, the plot changes significantly or a detail about the main character changes how the book is read entirely - then it's fine to re-query. But, an agent may get annoyed that you queried too soon and wasted their time, especially if they already requested the manuscript and started reading it before the major revision was complete. 

What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
Day job, where they're from, whether they have a writing degree (which does not influence my decision at all, by the way, but you should still include it), something about them that might directly relate to the book (i.e. "Like my character, I'm the daughter of a small town preacher..."). 

What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
Most often it means exactly that. A book can be well-written, have a decent premise, but it lacks the "wow" factor (for lack of a better phrase). I need to be in love with a manuscript in order to represent it, and I also need to have the right vision for it. I could like a book just fine, but that doesn't always mean I have the right editorial eye for it or have the best contacts in order to sell it.

What themes are you sick of seeing?
For YA, bullying, body image issues, and "I'm different and that's OK" themes are very overdone. YES, I know these books are important, but there are so many of them already. If the plot of the book revolves around an "issue," it won't be a strong enough concept for me. I want books that deal with issues in more unique ways and put good storytelling and writing quality at the forefront.  

Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?
Very much so.

What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
- Adult science fiction in the tradition of Vonnegut or Philip K. Dick - not a space opera or action/adventure story.
- Literary fiction (adult or YA) that has a strong plot as well as high quality writing.
- YA horror/super dark mystery - psychological plot twists are a huge bonus!

What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes? 
This is a hard question for me because usually what I watch/read for pleasure doesn't fall under genres I represent. More often what I watch and what I read aren't even the same thing. Certain genres work better (for me) in certain mediums. That said, I'm always drawn to character-focused narratives. I have a soft spot for anti-heroes of both genders and women who are in control of their own story. I like characters who can be vulnerable underneath a strong exterior (like Buffy), or secretly strong underneath a passive exterior (like Willow, even before she tried to destroy the world, she was the shy nerd who always had a plan and whipped everyone into shape.) OK, I like characters who aren't from Buffy too, but most of them are good examples of what I'm looking for. Except Riley. 

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Sarah Bradford Lit photo

Sarah LaPolla joined Bradford Literary Agency in May 2013. Prior to joining forces with Laura and Natalie, Sarah worked for five years in the foreign rights department at Curtis Brown, Ltd., and became an associate agent there in 2010. She received her MFA in Creative Writing (Nonfiction) from The New School in 2008 and has a B.A. in Creative Writing from Ithaca College.
Sarah represents YA and adult fiction. On the adult side, she is looking for literary fiction, science fiction, magical realism, dark/psychological mystery, and upmarket commercial and/or women’s fiction. For YA, she is interested in contemporary/realistic fiction that doesn’t shy away from the darker side of adolescence. YA sci-fi, horror, mystery, and magical realism are also welcome; and she would love to find a modern Judy Blume for the MG market. No matter what genre, Sarah is drawn to layered/strong characters, engaging narrators, and a story that’s impossible to put down.

Query Kombat 2014 Round 2 Wrap Up

Round 2 of Query Kombat is officially over, and kontestants have finished licking their wounds revising their entries to gear up for the next round. For round 3, we are down to sixteen entries. This is surely going to be the toughest round yet. Some heavy hitter are going at it and we have no idea which of you will come out standing.

If our judge thought the last round was hard, they haven't seen anything yet




Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes!

Make a Baby with Socks On
Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Love is Hell
Can't Keep a Bad Girl Down
Lavender Marriage
A Cozy for Geeks
Making Boys Cry
World on a String
Girl Destroys World
Star Light, Star Bright
Tag, You're Dead
A Burning Dilemma
Shalom Sasquatch
WEEL
Maidens, Monks, & Murder
BingBamBoomBFF

Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike 

CONGRATS to all who made it. To those who didn't, you fought valiantly. You should be proud of yourselves.

Round 3 will be hosted on SC's blog. It starts on June 21st and will run through June 23rd.

Best of luck combatants.

Round 3 match ups are listed below

 

Lavender Marriage VS Make a Baby with Socks On

Can't Keep s Bad Girl Down VS  Making Boys Cry

Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper VS Love is Hell

WEEL VS Tag, You're Dead

BingBamBoomBFF VS Star Light, Star Bright

World on a String VS Girl Destroys World

Shalom Sasquatch VS A Burning Dilemma

A Cozy For Geeks VS Maidens, Monks, and Murder

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Query Kombat 2104 Second Round


Here we go again. The same rules apply.

Hop on over to Mike's blog to see the rest of the match-ups and entries!!  We've got a little bit of everything: adult, NA, YA, and MG! This round last until June 17th at 8 pm.

But before we begin:

Read this post again to remind yourselves of the rules and guidelines of commenting and judging. Below I've reposted the main ideas:

Reminders for the Entrants:

No commenting on your own entries until Wednesday.  If you see something wrong with your entry such as a word that should have been italicized but isn't, or something else, first try to Tweet me @Michelle4Laughs (this is the best option). If you don't have a Twitter, comment on your entry telling me the mistake (but this way will be slower as I won't be checking the comments as much as Twitter, and also because your comment may be lost in a flood of judges' votes).

Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random (they're not). We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.

Kombatants should comment on 6 other match-ups to help share the love around!

Reminders for the Judges:

Wait until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes :) Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!).

Make sure to post under your nicknames!

And judges: seriously, thank you so, SO much for doing this. It's a very tough job (just wait until you start doing it!) and isn't for the faint-hearted.

Reminders for Everyone:

Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment!

NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be Tweeting under #QueryKombat!

QK Round 2: She Wears Bruises Like Trophies versus Lavender Marriage

Entry Nickname: She Wears Bruises Like Trophies
Title: Lucky Punch
Word count: 71,000
Genre: Adult Contemporary

Query:

After two years in a veteran’s outreach program of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), widowed military veteran Poppy Leon is slowly rebuilding her life. She strives to be a great single parent to her son Milo, despite suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), after almost losing her life in a mortar attack in Iraq.

With an unbeaten MMA record Poppy’s career is skyrocketing, and her relationship with her five-year-old son has never been better. But a vicious blow to the head during a match triggers a flashback, and Poppy loses control, nearly killing her opponent. She’s immediately plunged into a mental and physical nightmare. Unable to function, Poppy lashes out at those she loves the most, including Milo. 

Despite the resurgence of her PTSD Poppy tries desperately to hang onto the sanity that MMA has given her. But when she grabs Milo too hard during a school function, the safety of her son is questioned when the authorities arrive. If she doesn’t get herself together and Marine-up, Poppy knows losing a match is the least of her worries. But what was once her most cherished outlet soon has her reliving her past trauma with every strike and blow. Poppy must decide between Marine and Mother if she's ever going to give her son and herself the life they both deserve. 

First 250:

The tent was in flames. Poppy felt like she’d been thrown against a concrete wall. Sand filled her mouth, and her head was splitting apart. All she could think was, move! Tears streamed from her eyes as she opened them, and rough hands grabbed her and dragged her from the tent. 

Poppy fell to the ground next to another Marine and watched in a haze as her savior ran back into the tent to bring out anyone left inside. She choked as she inhaled an acrid breath.

She looked around, the ringing in her ears increasing, and brought a hand to her face and wiped her eyes. In slow motion the smoke cleared and the clatter of a .50 caliber machine gun sang a song in the distance. She heard herself asking the question, what happened, in a voice that didn’t sound remotely like her own. She brought her hand up to her head, grimacing as she felt something sticking out of her skull. She'd felt safe when she'd taken off her battle rattle. Poppy leaned over and retched into the sand. 

She crawled over to the body next to her, putting a shaking hand on the Marine’s neck to feel for a pulse, but not even a whisper beat against her bloodied fingers. Poppy drew her hand away and felt herself up. Head: mostly intact, but the rest of her she wasn’t so sure about. She looked around, wondering who was in charge. Then she remembered: she was. 



VERSUS


Entry Nickname: Lavender Marriage
Title: The Well-Adjusted Household
Word Count: 87,000
Genre: Adult Upmarket Fiction

Query:

Ben has been called a lot of things: doctor, husband, father, deviant, liar. His wife Alena calls him friend and her brother Iain calls him lover.

They live in Prohibition-era Pittsburgh and booze isn't the only thing that's illegal. Homosexuality is a felony and Ben and Iain don't care to spend the next ten years behind bars. Luckily, their sham marriages to Alena and her paramour Margaux are the perfect cover.

In public, they are the wealthy and powerful Blackburn family, heirs to a steel fortune. But behind closed doors, they are an improvised household of artificially conceived children and secret passageways between bedrooms. Everything is orchestrated. Nothing is as it seems.

When a conniving maid discovers their secret, Iain and Ben are arrested on charges of sodomy and homosexual behavior. The men and their constructed family are put on trial and it is up to their wives to convince the world of their “innocence.”

With an unjust law and an unsympathetic jury, they are well-aware that the truth will not set them free.

First 250 Words:

On your right!”

The bicycle appeared from around the corner while Ben was lost in thoughts of covalent bonds and chemical reactions. There was no time to avoid impact. His chemistry beakers hit the pavement first, followed by his face.

“Jesus Christ, I've killed him. Hello? Can you hear me?”

As Ben regained consciousness, he assessed his injuries. Pain, but no broken bones. He rolled to his back. “Left. You were on my left.”

Pardon?” The offending cyclist hovered over him, surveying the damage. “Goodness. You're bleeding.”

Ben sat up slowly, his ears ringing and his vision blurry. He poked at his cheek where a shard of beaker glass had lodged. “Blast.” 

Here, let me help you.” The young man grabbed Ben's arm and pulled him to his feet. “I do apologize. I've never run over anyone before.”

Ben wobbled slightly, adjusting the spectacles still somehow perched on his nose. “I find that hard to believe.”

My apartment is just there,” he offered, disregarding Ben's comment and pointing to a building across the street. “Would you care to come up? Use the washroom? That gash is quite a sight.” The young man leaned in closer, inspecting the wound.

“I, um, don't think–” Ben suddenly noticed that his assailant was beautiful and smelled like Eau de Quinine. 

Please. It's the least I can do,” he laughed, gesturing to the mess of papers and glass at their feet.

“Well...”

“I insist.” He offered his hand. “I'm Iain, by the way.” 

QK Round 2: Remember Me versus Maidens, Monks, & Murder

Entry Nickname: Remember Me
Title: THE GOSSAMER VEIL
Word Count: 75,000
Genre: Adult/Historical Fiction

Query:

Fifteen-year-old Katya watched her family starve to death one by one. She buried her dreams of a happy ending along with the bullet-riddled body of the love of her life. Her survival during Stalin’s assault on Ukraine is a testament to her strength, but it came at an unforgivable price.  Now, in the twilight of her life, the secrets she has kept buried for decades have come back to haunt her.

Summer Porter just wanted to stop the nightmares, and nearly died doing so when she accidentally overdosed in high school. Doctors labeled her schizophrenic, but the dreams she’s endured her whole life are something far different. While away at college, she discovers that painting the horrifying images in her mind prevents the dreams. A normal life seems almost possible, till she moves back home. There, the night terrors return and the lure of a quick pill fix threatens everything she has worked so hard for.

Desperate for a change, Summer jumps at the chance to move in with her ailing great-grandmother Katya. Their renewed relationship compels the old woman to do something she swore she’d never do: rip open the scars of her youth and tell her life story. Hearing this confession awakens an inexplicable connection between the two women. This bond may be Summer’s only opportunity to understand and end her nightmares for good and Katya’s last chance at the forgiveness she has spent a lifetime yearning for.

First 250 Words: 

When the first shot rang out, the basket my mother had packed slipped from my fingers. Bread spilled to the ground, forgotten, as I raced towards my aunt’s house. Alina yelled for me to stop, but her voice barely whispered in my ear. All I could hear was my cousin Sasha screaming. 

My sister caught up and tackled me to the ground. We landed in a snowdrift next to my aunt and uncle’s barn, hidden from view.  I had almost made it to the yard.  Her speed saved my life that day, but I was too foolish to thank her for it then.

“Katya!” Alina hissed into my ear. Our limbs tangled and our heavy cloaks twisted around us, but it didn’t stop me from trying to wrestle away from her.  My arm throbbed where her hand dug into it. “Stop! You can’t let them see us!”

“I don’t care!” I wrenched my left leg from under her and rolled onto my stomach.  Snow made its way into my boots and under my thick skirts. The icy crystals numbing my leg scarcely registered. Desperation pushed me forward. “We have to help them!”

I yanked off my cumbersome cloak and left it so I could crawl away from her.  Sasha’s screams had stopped, but I was close enough now to hear her quiet whimpering and my uncle’s pleading voice.

“Please!” Alina begged from behind me. “You know it’s too late for them!”



VERSUS



Entry Nickname: Maidens, Monks, & Murder
Title: A Serpent in the Garden
Word Count: 60,000
Genre: YA Historical Mystery

QUERY

Amid the grit and splendor of twelfth century Germany, an impetuous teenage noblewoman investigates a brutal murder.

When a young woman is killed near the abbey of St. Nicholas, fifteen-year-old Eva von Hirschburg is moved by similarities between the victim and her own dead mother. She vows to find the culprit and convinces peace-loving Brother Clement to help, but the two clash when Eva accuses a man Clement wants to protect.

As she hunts for evidence, Eva is courted by the charismatic Lord Friderich. Eva is enticed by Friderich’s wit and vitality, but fears he is only looking for an indiscretion. Worse, Friderich distrusts Clement and wants Eva to relinquish her obsession with the murdered woman.

Is Friderich trying to protect Eva, or is he trying to protect the murderer? Eva cannot capture the killer alone, but trusting the wrong person could cost Eva her heart and her life.


FIRST 250

No one prayed for my mother's soul. No one spoke of her. My uncle Baldric forbade it. But I refused to forget her. She died fifteen years ago when I was only a babe, but every morning, before the rest of the castle woke, I went to the chapel to plead for her deliverance.

Darkness filled the room, intensifying the smell of incense and the aching in my legs as I knelt on the stone floor. I recited the De Profundis, the Miserere, and the Requiem Aeternam, prayers suitable for someone suffering in Purgatory. I considered praying that my uncle Arnulf might finally drink himself to death, but I decided against it. I stood and walked out to the chapel garden.

On my right loomed the bergfried, a defensive tower and, in troubled times, a holding place for prisoners. On my left, the crenellated battlements of the south wall snapped at the sapphire sky. I shuddered, feeling like a mouse trapped in the jaws of a lion. Most ladies would count themselves lucky to have a guardian as wise and temperate as Baron Baldric, but I despised being kept out of duty rather than love. And most ladies do not have to contend with an uncle as reckless and cruel as his brother, Baron Arnulf.

I walked toward the archway that led to the main courtyard. A voice cried out. “Judge thou, O Lord, them that wrong me. Overthrow them that fight against me. Take hold of arms and shield, and rise up to help me.”

QK Round 2: The Past is Back versus Love is Hell

Entry Nickname: The Past is Back
Title: WATERS OF OBLIVION
Word Count: 67,000
Genre: Adult Paranormal Suspense

Query:

Reine doesn’t want to die; once was more than enough.  It’s not because she’s afraid of the permanent end to mortal life. After slipping into the frigid waters of the Venetian lagoon in 1498, that’s no longer a possibility. It’s actually the reason she’s stopped aging and can heal almost instantly. No, Reine’s afraid because her new gifts came at a price: her memories. Forgetting the first twenty-three years of her existence made Reine swear to maintain her safety – and thereby her past – even if it meant living a quiet, solitary, and uneventful life. 

She’s successful for five centuries, but when the Georgetown art historian’s invited back to the Serene Republic to examine a resurfaced DaVinci, she finds her secret’s been compromised. The portrait is of her. More importantly, the painting’s owner was – and still is – Massimo Baldovini, her husband who also should have died long ago. Although Reine has no memory of this pompous, domineering, and utterly irresistible man, Massimo’s desperate to rekindle their relationship. Reine now has the chance to trade her quirky sock collection, musty libraries, and an ordinary life with any mortal she’d surely outlive for the man who’s apparently loved her for half a millennium. The choice should be easy, until she inexplicably gets sick for the first time in five hundred years and starts to remember things Massimo wishes would remain buried.

With her immortality – and maybe even her life – on the line, Reine must determine if she can trust Massimo to save her or whether she’s just been a pawn in his self-serving plans from the very beginning.

First 250 words:

Reine clutched her broken hand to her chest and repeatedly tapped the “Door Close” button with the other. The pain in her fingers was almost unbearable, but it would be gone soon. Hopefully it would be soon enough. 

As the elevator door slid slowly into place, she looked out into the hotel’s sleek, modern lobby one last time. Thankfully, it was still deserted. This wasn’t unusual given the wintry weather and the late hour, but she knew he had to be right behind her. 

He couldn’t catch up. He couldn’t see her. Not just yet.

With a small jolt, the elevator finally began to move upward and she looked at her hand again. It was shaking, but as she flexed her fingers, the last signs of bruising – and of the pain – disappeared. However, that didn’t make her happy. 

For the second time in two weeks, she almost inadvertently revealed her secret. A secret her life depended on. She should have just ended the conversation when she fumbled to answer a simple question: “Are you married?”

But she didn’t, and that was mistake number one. 

The blunder was a warning sign, and she ignored it. She had uncharacteristically let her guard down. But who wouldn’t have, if they had looked into those eyes or had seen that smile? As always, her heart would be her downfall. That’s why she had avoided listening to it for so long.

Until tonight. 

And that’s when she made the second mistake: getting injured.



VERSUS



Entry Nickname: Love is Hell
Title: Daughter of Lilith
Word Count: 71,000
Genre: YA Paranormal

Query:

As a half-demon, sixteen-year-old Ariel rips souls from the living as casually as mortals order coffee.

Raised by her abusive headmistress, Batal, Ariel blindly accepts all humans as a worthless blight on the world – especially males. But when a car accident leaves her stranded, a minister’s son, Mike Flannery, goes beyond the call of duty to help. His genuine concern forces Ariel to question her education.

Mike’s kindness and sincerity suggests he’s not the filthy slime her teacher claims him to be. She soon realizes he brings out something in her she didn’t know she had - humanity. Feeling deceived, Ariel runs away and vows to never again let Batal or anyone else manipulate her. However, Batal is not about to let one of her pawns escape without a fight.

Now the renegade demon realizes letting Mike into her life endangers them both. Ariel is faced with a choice as cruel as the punishments she endured from her teacher. She can deny her new feelings and walk away to protect Mike from the creatures of Hell, or confront her sadistic headmistress, risking an eternity of suffering for a chance at love.

First 250

I stand over the young woman asleep on her side, next to a male. An elongated pillow rests between her knees and under her enlarged belly, supporting her womb.

Searching the bedroom – as I must – I look for any signs that would prevent me from fulfilling my duty. As usual, there are none. No one from today remembers the ancient agreement.

I return to the bed. Glaring down at her mate, the corners of my mouth tighten into a scowl. How can any self-respecting female allow a son of Adam to defile her?  The bile in my stomach churns creating a bitter taste in my mouth, making me want to spit. Control, Ariel. Stay in control.

I’m not here for him. He is not my purpose. I must serve the Mother the way I’m expected. Taking a deep breath, I return to my task.

Holding out my hand, palm facing down I listen to the expectant mother’s breathing. Her heartbeat comes into focus, slow and rhythmic. Moving my hand so it hovers over her belly, another heartbeat emerges, faster but still harmonious – the child’s.

Directing all my attention on the mother’s womb, a gentle, soft glow made from thousands of faintly illuminated sand-like particles rise from the woman’s stomach. It grows in intensity as I gradually lift my hand. The tiny crystals follow, collecting below my open palm forming into a baseball size orb.

It always fascinates me, what the soul looks like outside of the body, maybe because I don’t have one myself, none of us half-breeds do.