Query Questions with Dan Balow

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

 

Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!

This is the first time to hear from an agent who specializes in Christian Fiction. Dan Balow is here to answer questions about his query slush from the Steve Laube Agency.

Is there a better or worse time of year to query? Not really. I am pretty organized and keep up on them.

Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query? No. But a misspelled word in the title is a problem. Not being from an editorial background, I overlook a lot of things that trouble editors, but it is still nice to have it well-crafted.

Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong? Only if the query is strong.

Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?My assistant is there to organize, but I check everything myself.

If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages? Yes

Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?Our agency wants one agent within the company at a time. If declined, then they are free to pitch to another, but need to mention they sent to another. I will recommend an author send to one of our agents, but I won't send myself. Simultaneous submissions to other agencies are fine.

Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript? Not a lot, but it would be nice to know that the author knows something about our agency, a recent blog post, or can connect something to us. It shows they know something about us. I view it like interviewing for a job. You would never send out a mass mailing looking for a job. You would personalize and know something about the company where you seek an interview.

Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included? Not a red flag, but appreciated fairly early in the query or cover letter.

Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query? Yes. The idea of the query is to get someone interested quickly. Get to the point quickly.

Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?  Do the best they can, but don't hold either very tightly. The publisher needs to have some latitude. 

How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those? I get about ten per week. I will normally take an extra step with one of those ten.

Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one? Yes on both counts. It is very important.

Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive? Links are good, no matter where.

If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested? Only if requested.

What bio should an author with no publishing credits include? Give some sense why they are motivated or qualified to write.

What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you? Relatively fast, I need to feel like I can sell a particular proposal. Agents see the world through the eyes of publishers. If we don't see something they would want, then "it is just not right for me."

What themes are you sick of seeing? Only things that are preceded by the phrase, "I know you say you aren't looking for _________, but here it is anyway."

Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent? Hands-on, yes. Editorial, no. My background is the business of publishing and I help authors who need that type of agent.

What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query? I plead the fifth. 

What three things are at the top of your submission wish list? A tough question. Honestly, great writing takes a lot of forms and is usually surprising. Art surprises. So surprise me.

What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes? I like biographies like Unbroken, fiction like Crichton and business books from Seth Godin. I try not to allow my personal tastes dictate what I can represent and sell. I've discovered that I am not the market for most things, so I've learned to see the world through the eyes of others.

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Dan is a 30 year veteran of the Christian publishing industry. He was the director of marketing for Tyndale House Publishers working with authors Francine Rivers, James Dobson, Josh McDowell, Charles Colson and many others.

Starting in 1995, Dan led the marketing team for the immensely successful Left Behind series by Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. Eventually devoting most of his time to the effort, he took on the role of Director of Business Development for the series, expanding his involvement to licensing and product development along with the marketing. At its peak, the series was selling over two million copies of various products per month on its way to over 60 million copies to date.

In 2002, he added the role of director of international publishing for Tyndale and later, Director of Research and Analysis for the company. In recent years he has worked as Publisher for two audio publishing companies and consulted with ministries and publishers on their publishing programs.

Dan has served on the executive board of ECPA (the Evangelical Christian Publisher’s Association), the trade association for Christian publishers. In addition, he is a founding member of the advisory board of the Christy Awards and is involved in training and mentoring Christian publishers around the world. He was a presenter in marketing and digital publishing at the 2012 LittWorld conference in Nairobi and will be presenting similar sessions to publishers in Ghana, West Africa in August 2013. (Here is a link to a video of Dan speaking on the basics of marketing at LittWorld.)

Dan is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Communications, is married to Carol and they have four grown children. He will be working from his office in Wheaton, IL.

Holiday Query Hop Critique 6

Here to do the next critique is my friend from Agent Query Critique Sarah Marsh. Sarah has helped with a lot of my contests, including Query Kombat!

Keep in mind that feedback is subjective by nature. What does and does not catch the eye is going to vary by person. Each writer must weigh the comments they get against their own judgement and make the changes that resonate with them.

The hop is closed to new entries. If you are at the front or end of the list, please critique each other now. 

The random number generator picks 22! 

Dear Agent,

When Kuji, a recent graduate of Black Squirrel Academy, is assigned to the Ninja Squirrels of the Hundred Acre Wood, he doubts his ability to become a member of the elite, clandestine I’d choose just one word or the other here—maybe “elite” force responsible for protecting the Wood and its inhabitants. This first sentence was too long and had too many names to hook me. How about shortening it up a bit? I suggest removing “a recent graduate of Black Squirrel Academy” so we can focus on Kuji’s present job—the Ninja Squirrels. He contemplates requesting a transfer to an easier first assignment but decides to take the risk and accept the position as a Ninja Squirrel trainee. I’m wondering if this sentence is needed. From your opening, we already know that Kuji is uncertain about his new position. Kuji discovers he has found a place to truly call home, a place with good friends and a future. I feel like we made a big jump here—what caused Kuji to realize that the Wood feels like home? He is quickly put to the test and must prove to himself and the others he is capable of the challenges, even if the difficult training forces him out of his comfort zone. This feels a bit too vague where you mention Kuji being put to a test and facing challenges. Can you give a specific example of what Kuji does to prove himself? Don’t be afraid to give a few details relevant to the plot!

I also wanted to get a sense of Kuji’s voice here. Is he funny? Sarcastic? Serious and focused? Don’t be afraid to let his voice shine with phrasing and word choices that are unique to him!

Last, I’d recommend starting by describing Kuji a little in the opening sentence. It would be nice to get a vague idea of his age, ie: “When brave young squirrel trainee Kuji is assigned to the Ninja Squirrels…”

His arrival, though, has triggered This should be “triggers” to keep things in present tense. an increase in attacks by the Hundred Acre Wood’s greatest enemy, the Arachne. The Arachne are evil, overgrown I think you can simplify and trim a few words here for better flow. “These overgrown spiders and scorpions…” I’d remove “evil” because that’s implied by their actions! spiders and scorpions who will stop at nothing by doing what? Do they try to poison the squirrels? Fight them? to defeat the Ninja Squirrels and drain the magical power that gives the Wood its innocence and goodness. What really needs to be clearer here is why Kuji’s arrival triggers the Arachne to attack more. Reading ahead, I see that you address this in the next paragraph (he’s destined to become the Ninja Squirrels’ leader), but you could hint at it here with something like: “Strangely, Kuji’s arrival coincides with a massive attack by the Hundred Acre Wood’s greatest enemy…” only prettier and in your voice, of course!

Adding to the pressures of a trainee, Master Jonin, the legendary sensei of the Ninja Squirrels, tells Kuji of his destiny to be the kami, the group’s ninth member who is to bind the Ninja Squirrels, make them stronger, and eventually become their leader. This sentence feels a bit unwieldy. Perhaps cut the part about strengthening the group, and focus on how Kuji will become their leader? Again, I also see opportunities to shorten by rearranging things slightly. For example, instead of saying “the legendary sensei of the Ninja Squirrels” say, “the Ninja Squirrels’ legendary sensei” –you’ll lose two words from that alone. Kuji is not sure he can live up to this lofty expectation. You could lose “Kuji isn’t sure he can live up to this lofty expectation,” because you show that he has doubts in the next sentence. He doesn’t know if he can deal with the responsibility of leadership or risk losing being just one of the squirrels the “risk losing being” phrasing felt awkward to me—is there a different way you can say this in Kuji’s voice?, which is his favorite thing about being a member of the team. But, Kuji also realizes that without this kami presence, the Ninja Squirrels will inevitably drift apart and leave the Wood vulnerable to Arachne attack. I’m not too sure about the stakes at the end here. You’re almost there, but I want you to be more specific about the threat to Kuji. What does he stand to lose if the Arachne do attack? Will his friends be killed? Could he possibly be killed? Will all the goodness be drained from his beloved wood, leaving it a twisted, nightmarish land? Specifics are what help agents and readers to identify with your characters—again, don’t be afraid to give details!

Overall, the biggest problem I’m noticing here is length. This query reads at 280 words, but ideally, it should be less than 250! The tighter and snappier you can make your query, the better chance you’ll have of an agent wanting to read on to your sample pages! Trim any unnecessary adjectives and sentences that repeat the same idea or feeling.

Also, don’t forget to incorporate Kuji’s voice into the query, and wherever possible, give specifics about your character and plot! Then I think you’ll be well on your way.

The adventures in NINJA SQUIRRELS OF THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD, a 39,600-word middle-grade fantasy, are stories built around the world created by A. A. Milne in his Winnie-the-Pooh books.

My upper middle-grade historical fiction novel, THE YOUNGER DAYS, was released by the MuseItYoung imprint of MuseItUp Publishing and was awarded the Catholic Writer’s Guild Seal of Approval Award. I have also published three non-fiction football coaching articles in a national coaching magazine. Great job summarizing your credentials and keeping it relevant! Best of luck on what sounds like a really fun story!

Thank you for your time and consideration. The complete manuscript is available upon request.

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Sarah Glenn Marsh is a young adult and picture book author represented by Christa Heschke of McIntosh & Otis Literary. An avid fantasy reader from the day her dad handed her a copy of The Hobbit and promised it would change her life, she’s been making up words and worlds ever since.

Now she lives and writes and paints things in Richmond VA, supported by her brilliant husband and four senior greyhounds, who’d like you to consider a rescue as your next pet!

Visit Sarah online at: sarahglennmarsh.blogspot.com, and on Twitter: @SG_Marsh

Writing Pet Peeve

A short and sweet editing suggestion today. Besides filtering in writing (see my rant against filtering here) the next thing that drives me nuts is mistakes with the word "couple." 

I see a couple presents under the tree.

Problem. Grammatically, that sentence is missing a word.

I see a couple of presents under the tree.

There are a couple of hot cookies on the counter.

I have a couple of stops yet to make.

Unless you are talking about two people with a fondness for each other, you need the word "of" with "couple." Maybe it's old fashioned, but for me, leaving off the "of" is incorrect, though I see it done often.

So what are your writing pet peeves? What brings out the rant in you?  

Holiday Query Hop Critique 5

Rena Olsen used to enter my contests and now she's helping to run them! Ain't life wonderful!

Keep in mind that feedback is subjective by nature. What does and does not catch the eye is going to vary by person. Each writer must weigh the comments they get against their own judgement and make the changes that resonate with them.

The Holiday Query hop is still taking entries, see here for details.  

The random number generator picks 16!

Sixteen-year-old Tia’s convinced her mom and those villagers were wrong about the grandfather who died before she was born. He wasn’t a monster. The real monsters were the ones who killed him. She knows, because she found his lab, the one they did their best to burn to the ground. She read his journals. She secretly rebuilt his machines. (Axe this paragraph. Too much backstory. You want to start your query where the action is, which the second paragraph does beautifully.)

When her elusive crush, Frank, is killed in a car crash, she sixteen-year-old Tia snatches his poor, torn body (from the crash site? from the funeral home?) before they can embalm him. She hauls his parts and pieces (this pulled me out of the query because it’s kinda gross. Exactly how many parts is she hauling? Eeek! Maybe just “parts” or even switch to “remains,” which would encompass all his parts and pieces.) to her grandfather’s tower. Under the cryptic guidance left for her in the journals (if you delete the first paragraph, you will need to explain which journals she’s using), she patches him back together. Lightning erupts, and she reanimates Frank. (I love the last part of the sentence, but I wonder if the lightning causes the reanimation or if it’s just to set tone. If it causes the reanimation, connect the two. “Using the power of a lightning bolt, Tia reanimates Frank.”)

Those cats that disappeared? Tia’s pretty sure coyotes got them. And that old lady has it wrong. (Has what wrong? Are there strange things other than disappearing cats going on in the neighborhood?) Tia knows Frank. He’d never hurt a soul. So what if he takes off every night? He needs his space. Stuff like that keeps a relationship fresh. Sure, he stumbles around during the day, and she tries to ignore the fact that he’s not quite Frank anymore. Well, maybe not even a smidgen like Frank anymore. Because he’s the guy she always wanted, and he tells her he loves her. All the time. (I’m torn about this paragraph. The voice is fantastic, but it almost contradicts itself. Tia knows Frank, except he’s not anything like Frank anymore. I would start with why she might ignore everything that’s happening. She’s excited she’s finally with her crush. He says he loves her. {Could add something there too, as far as how he says it. Is his tone flat, mumbled?} I love the lines about him needing space and keeping the relationship fresh. I think you could cut down the mentions of weird things happening in the neighborhood.)

But, when Frank’s possessive attitude—well, frankly, it’s a frightening attitude—becomes more than she can bear frightening, Tia must decide if she loves Frank enough to keep him alive, or find a way to bury him good. (Stakes don’t feel urgent enough. Do others notice Frank is missing? Is he normal looking enough that they don’t suspect? With strange things happening in the neighborhood, do they look for someone to blame? What else is Tia giving up if she buries him for good?)

Complete at xx,xxx, REANIMATING FRANK, a WIP,  is a young adult contemporary fantasy in the vein of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I’m a member of SCBWI and RWA.

(Include a paragraph indicating that you’ve attached materials per the agency guidelines, and always thank them for their time and consideration.)

I really love the concept of this story. I think with a little tightening and higher stakes, you’ll have a really strong query. The voice shines through in the query, which is difficult to accomplish. 

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Daughter of a wandering pastor, Rena Olsen never knew the answer to the question, “Where are you from?” Attending her third school by fourth grade, she found familiarity and comfort in reading, and when she figured out she could create her own stories, that was it. She hasn’t stopped writing since her first story, about an anthropomorphic tooth going on an adventure through a school, won the state of Iowa contest for her age group. Now she spends her days playing games and saving lives as a school therapist, and in the evenings she dives into the fictional worlds in her mind. She also spends more time reading than sleeping, and has absolutely zero regrets. Rena is represented by Sharon Pelletier of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management. 

Website: www.renaolsen.com
Twitter: @originallyrenaFacebook: www.facebook.com/RenaOlsenWriter

Sun versus Snow is Coming!

Yes!! It’s time to think about the New Year and get those queries and first pages ready for Sun vs. Snow!

Jump on over to Amy Trueblood's blog to get some juicy details! UPDATE: number of agents has gone up to 13!

Looking forward to seeing some great entries this year! And don't be shy. If you have questions, hit us up on twitter.

Holiday Query Hop Critique 4

Here to do the next critique is the inventor and host of PitchSlam, Leatrice McKinney! She's seen and helped with her share of queries.

Keep in mind that feedback is subjective by nature. What does and does not catch the eye is going to vary by person. Each writer must weigh the comments they get against their own judgement and make the changes that resonate with them.

The Holiday Query hop is still taking entries, see here for details.  

The random number generator picks 13! 

Dear Ms Perfect Agent for Me,

A couple of sentences on why this is the perfect agent for can go here or when you introduce the book by title.

When sixteen-year-old Cammie's forced off the road and nearly killed by the richest man in Sleepy Valley SC, she needs evidence to prove her sister’s boyfriend is the culprit before he murders both of them.

I’m confused at this pointing because it seems as if we have two Hes but the sentence reads as if there is one. Is the richest man her sister’s boyfriend? If not, we have four people introduced in the first paragraph: Cammie, rich guy, sister, sister’s boyfriend. That is already pushing the limit of the number of people that should be mentioned in the entire query to avoid the reader getting lost in trying to keep up with everyone.

Also, how is she nearly killed by said richest man? I assume it has to do with them nearly running into one another what with her being forced off the road, but it’s not clear. The hook is buried beneath guesswork and character description. Some mystery is good, questions can make a person want to know more, but they have to be the right kind of questions.

This is also the perfect place throw in a little voice. How would Cammie describe the situation? Would she say “being run off the fricken road” or “nearly being crushed by some hoity-toity townie” or anything other than forced from the road. Queries are the hardest to try and fit story AND character AND voice into, it’s small instances like this that make it possible.

Lucky she has someone to count on: her Nana, (Five characters) now in her seventies who worships the god Bahr, (Six characters. Even if the deity isn’t an actual person in the story, the mention of a name is one the reader has to keep up with) has more guns in her house than the local pawn shop, bakes fantastic Norwegian cookies and keeps up with the latest on profiling killers. But no one else believes Cammie, including the sheriff (Seven characters), until his hunk of a nephew (Eight characters) tries to help her, but he could be one of the bad guys.

By this point there are too many people to try and keep up with, and the introduction of all of those people has taken away from the description of what goes on in your story. What happened to the richest man and the boyfriend? How is the hook related to the rest of the book? We get great characterization about Nana (who sounds like a fun if not funny woman), but that doesn’t tell us anything about the story itself. Why can she count on Nana? What does Nana do? Why does no one believe Cammie? How does the hunky nephew try to help? Who are the bad guys and why is Cammie up against them?

After scheming to get the murderer (Nine characters. Is this the boyfriend or the rich guy? I assume neither, since they weren’t identified as murderers previously and the only killers mentioned thus far are the ones Nana keeps tabs on) to invite her and her family to his home for dinner, (Why would she take her family, who doesn’t believe her, with her to a killer’s house?) she makes friends with one of the maids (Ten characters) and takes a job as a maid at his family’s palatial estate. Dressed in disguise so her sister's boyfriend doesn't recognize her, she snoops in his laboratory (What sort of laboratory? This seems like a detail that is sort of thrown in and doesn’t add to the telling of your story. Searching his house would be fine. And wouldn’t he recognize her since he’s trying to kill her? Why would he hire her?) and room, looking for evidence, but time is closing in on her and so is the murderer. The mention of the murderer as a separate person in the same sentence as the boyfriend leads the reader to believe that it is a completely different character from said boyfriend.

The query reads more like a rundown of the cast of the story, who sound like interesting people, instead of what happens. After each of these individuals is mentioned, they go away. They don’t push the story forward in the least. The only ones repeated are Cammie, the boyfriend, and the murderer. We have no sense of the story itself beneath all of that. All we walk away knowing is Cammie is run off the road, people don’t believe her about it—I’m not sure why since it’s not something fantastical and happens to people often—and she goes under cover to catch the guy who did it and prevent him from…

What are the stakes? What will she lose if she doesn’t confront the man who ran her off the road? Or the murderer. Who did the murderer kill? Why is Cammie going up against him? Why is time running out? What will happen when it does? Why won’t anyone believe her about being run off the road? Is she a habitual liar or does she have some sort of sordid past where people don’t trust her? Those would be details to include instead of the list of people.

I won first place from the Virginia Romance Writers Association for one of my novels and second place for YA fiction from the Florida State Writing Competition. My mystery/suspense fiction has been published in PALM PRINTS, the University of South Florida Writers Journal, and online at RIVERWALK. 

You have impressive accolades, so you are definitely doing something right with you stories.

Dangerous is a YA mystery/thriller with series potential complete at 61,000 words. that contains unique formats, including newspaper articles, lists, cards and emails.

This is a multiple submission. Although Dangerous is a standalone story, it has series potential.

Your query is real estate, use only essential words and details to fill it, even in the bio section. If you don’t mention why the agent is perfect for you at the beginning of the query, mention it here. I’m writing you because so forth and so on.

Per your guidelines, I've included the first chapter and a synopsis.

Thank you for considering Dangerous.

Sincerely,

--------------------------------------

L.L. McKinney lives the single life in Kansas surrounded by more nieces and nephews than she knows what to do with. Aside doing the Favorite Aunt thing, she spends her weekends watching Saturday morning cartoons, defending her crown as the Mario Kart queen, and waging war against the enemies of Azeroth. For the Horde! When she’s pretending to be a grownup, she plays the part of freelance writer, published poet, and an active member of the writing community via social media outlets (which is a fancy way of saying she’s addicted to Twitter). She’s the creator and host of the bi-annual Pitch Slam contest via her blog and has spent time in the slush by serving as a reader for agents and participating as a judge in various online writing contests.

You can follow her madness on Twitter, Facebook, her Blog, and her Website.

Holiday Query Hop Critique 3

Here to do the next critique is my Sun versus Snow co-host Amy Trueblood! Amy runs an amazing blog of her own, full of writing tips and agent interviews. 

Keep in mind that feedback is subjective by nature. What does and does not catch the eye is going to vary by person. Each writer must weigh the comments they get against their own judgement and make the changes that resonate with them.

The Holiday Query hop is still taking entries, see here for details.  

The random number generator picks 3! Another great match as Amy writes YA! 

Dear Blog Hop Critters,

Stealing painkillers is bad. Stealing painkillers from your grandparents is worse. Stealing painkillers from your grandparents’ aquarium (when I first read this I thought it meant an aquarium in a private home) while high out of your mind and then vomiting into the sea lion pool is category five hurricane bad. For sixteen-year-old Laura Angela Sweetling, it was called Tuesday night.

I love the voice here but there is too much set-up. I'd recommend cutting the first line and starting with "Stealing painkillers from your grandparents is bad." It is still a shocking hook.

Four months later and fresh out of rehab, Laura knows she has some amends to make. She just didn’t imagine making them as a volunteer. Thankfully, her grandparents are doing research on African cichlids so Laura is granted a reprieve before she has the pleasure of from drowning in their disapproving glares. She just wasn’t expecting to find her mom in the post of Volunteer Supervisor. Nepotism, much? It’s practically a family reunion and Laura’s wishing she drowned in the sea lion pool, instead.

The voice here is still strong, but you're losing me in all the detail. I'd recommend being more straightforward. Her punishment is to work as a volunteer, but grandparents are busy so Mom is now her boss.

Making new fish-loving friends (and some that are just there for something splashy to put on college apps) is a side aeffect of her jail sentence. So is a ridiculous crush on a boy that completely and totally embodies the term fish-o-phile. Then there’s summer school since her wild Tuesday night and therapy stint screwed the rest of her junior year.

But just as Laura is beginning to acclimate to new waters, (an activist protest in the walrus exhibit) challenges her ideas about captivity and the family business. Struggling to stay clean and repair her damaged familial relationships, Laura’s newfound beliefs might just sink everyone, including Laura herself.

The protest is your conflict and creates the stakes. I'd get this up into the second paragraph. I'd recommend looking at your sinker too. Identify what her change will cost not only her but her family. Will they lose their livelihood? Could Laura be in trouble again? Make it very clear what her change of heart could do to all of them and how it will change her life.

SWIMMINGLY, a YA contemporary novel, is complete at 67,000 words. I was a volunteer at the New York Aquarium my junior year of high school (this is helpful bio info). The experience has greatly aided and influenced this manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration. (I think you could benefit from adding some comp titles here.)

Cheers,

Overall I'd say you have a strong start. I get a good sense of character and voice. Again, I'd recommend cutting out a lot of your superfluous info and making your conflict and stakes very clear in the beginning.

Good luck!

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A devotee of reading and writing from a very young age, Amy Trueblood grew up surrounded by books. After stints working in entertainment and advertising, she began writing her first manuscript and never looked back. Her work is part of The Fall and Summer's Edge short story collections. Her recent short story, "A Seat For Every Soul" appears in Pen & Muses' Dark Carnival collection. She is represented by Roseanne Wells of The Jennifer De Chiara Literary Agency. To learn more about Amy, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter or Tumblr. 

Making Your Main Character Likable

So at the beginning of your novel, your main character is a bitch or a bastard, is selfish or whiny, is bratty or works at an immoral job, or is just plain mean. Maybe they're an antihero, maybe they have a character arc to fulfill before they can join the human race. How do you keep readers from turning away in the first chapters? Some tricks can  help you build a connection between your readers and your character and build sympathy. A few tweaks can get people to keep reading. 

Here are the ideas that occur to me or that I've used myself:

1. Love something passionately Your character is selfish. They don't have any friends or very few. They're bitter and closed off. Give them something they do love and care about. A famous example of this is Katniss Everdeen from the opening of The Hunger Games. Deep down you know she's not a very sympathetic person. She thinks about her and her family and nobody else. But she loves her sister and so do you. Who couldn't love her after the duck thing with Prim's shirttail. Just make sure the audience also loves this person or pet. Yep, pets are great for this.

I've used this myself in Kindar's Cure. Kindar can't get along with her hateful family. She argues and speaks unkindly to her younger sister. To protect herself she must stay closed off and not reveal her feelings. But she loves her royal staff and does what she can to shield them from her mother's wrath. And she is also fond of her older sister.

2. Act of kindness Your character is a jerk. They're not very thoughtful. Like the shirttail episode between Katniss and Prim, have your character do an unnecessary act of kindness. They're awful to anyone and everyone, but they hold the door open for an old lady. They stop a kid from running into the road. They give up their seat on a bus to a handicapped person. They pick up some litter or do the dishes at home. They do something that makes a reader consider this character may be redeemable after all.

I've used this also. After a fight with her family, I have a character do the dishes as a goodwill gesture. Small sure. But maybe just enough when combined with the other tricks listed here.

3. Experience doubt/remorse  Your character argues constantly with their parents or your character does has an immoral job- assassin, spy, thief. Have them experience some doubts about their choice of action. Put some question into their thoughts. "Am I doing the right thing?" Have them feel bad about fighting or being disrespectful--at least in their own thoughts--even if not voiced aloud. Maybe they still believe they are in the right, but they don't feel happy about their actions. 

What could be more human than to have doubt and remorse. We all do it and can connect with it. Even as she fights, I had the character in number two feeling bad about the arguing. She stands by her belief that she's right, but she's not happy to have hurt her family.

4. Make them interesting If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Your character is evil brought to Earth and has no good qualities. So make them fascinating. They do the unexpected. They keep the reader guessing. They have a compelling and attractive voice that stands out in a crowd. They'd make the cover of Time with their sheer unpredictability and gotta see what they do next.

5. Make everything else interesting In the vein of the last idea, your main character is a putz that nobody is going to like, but your world and plot is going to keep people reading. You make your world building so new and unique that nobody gives a crap that they hate your character. Or your plot is so nonstop that there's no time to pause in reading to consider if they like your protagonist.

Give readers something always new and fast paced and hope that's enough for them.

6. Paint them in a corner Your main character is no Mother Teresa, but you put them in such danger or into such a tight place that readers are instantly rooting for them. Get readers hoping your character makes it out alive and you've won half the battle.

I also did this in Kindar's Cure. I hit Kindar with one terrible thing after another in the opening chapters until she was literally forced to flee her home. 

7. They ain't the worst Hand and hand with number six, goes this tip. Your character is unsympathetic but all the other character are even more distasteful. Your character looks good by comparison. I've seen this done a lot in darker stories. I'm guessing this is a GRRM tactic.  


Many of my main characters seem to start out as not the most reader friendly. So there are the ideas that rattle around in my noggin or that I've employed without even thinking about it. Consider using one or a combination of these for your own characters.

Or maybe you have your own tricks and tips. What have you used or noticed being used to make a character likable?