Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Query Questions with Rebecca Friedman

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

 

Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!

If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.


Hello and welcome to Rebecca Friedman. Rebecca recently opened her own agency and you can now find her at The Rebecca Friedman Agency.

Is there a better or worse time of year to query?

There are definitely slower times when I can devote more energy to the query pile, but it's not the same every year. The only time that almost guarantees a longer wait period is the holiday season. The office is busy, people are on vacation, and there are usually a lot of loose threads to pull together before the end of the year: all that pushes slush pile management lower down on my priority list.



Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?

One typo won't send a great query directly to the trash, but after two or three, I start to notice. I want to know that you put as much time into pitching a book that I will put into representing it.



Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?

I do look at them, but that doesn't mean it's not important to have a strong query. The excitement with which I read sample pages after a good query can make all the difference.



If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?

Yes. The beginning of a book is absolutely crucial to hooking a publisher, so I want to see that your opening is strong.



Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?

For the most part, a query should zero in on pitching the manuscript, but there is room for personalization. I like to see that an author has done their homework: mentioning one of my previous titles or discussing how your book suits my taste and would fit my list are two examples that often catch my interest. This doesn't guarantee anything, of course, but if I know you spent a little extra time crafting a query for me, I'm more likely to spend a little extra time reading.



Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?

Missing it is not a deal-breaker if a query is great, but that is definitely crucial information.



Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?
While there's no hard and fast rule, I've definitely gotten hit by name overload. A query should make me want to read more, not summarize the story. It should be streamlined and intriguing; in most cases, naming all the important characters gets in the way of actually pitching the book.



Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?

Titles and character names can absolutely change, but that doesn't mean they aren't vital in the querying process. A good title that grabs my attention can make all the difference when I'm reading queries for four hours straight.



If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?

If I'm interested in seeing a revision, I tell an author in my response. If I give the notes without specifying, it doesn't hurt to ask, but I wouldn't put too many eggs in that basket.



What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?

Some basic information (where you live, what you're doing, education, etc). A few personal details can be very charming. It's not just the project an agent is signing; it's also the author, so I want to who you are.




What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?

Often, I come across a query that is strong and intriguing, but for one reason or another, I'm not the right agent to represent it. Maybe it's a genre I don't work in; maybe it's too close to another book on my list; maybe the market is too challenging for this type of book--it's a catch-all term for a huge array of potential hurdles.



What themes are you sick of seeing?

Everyday guy's wife/daughter/sister gets kidnapped and kicks off a series of action-packed events.



Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?

Absolutely. The amount of work I do on a manuscript changes from book to book, but I always go through at least a couple of revisions with a client before sending it to publishers.



What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?

Journalistic nonfiction with a strong voice, literary novels of suspense, and contemporary books that deal with issues without being "issue books."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


Rebecca Friedman started her own agency, Rebecca Friedman Literary, in 2013. Previously, she worked at the Hill Nadell Agency and Sterling Lord Literistic. She is most interested in commercial and literary fiction with a focus on literary novels of suspense, women’s fiction, contemporary romance, and young adult, as well as journalistic non-fiction and memoir. A graduate of Barnard College, she now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two daughters.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Sun versus Snow Mentors



Amy Trueblood has the list of mentors who will be helping improve and refine the chosen Sun and Snow queries! Head to her blog Chasing the Crazies to see the list. 

Amy also has a free pass opportunity to get into the SUN picks in her post! Don't miss out at a chance for a guaranteed spot in Sun versus Snow with FIFTEEN agents. (Agents announced Jan. 1.)

The best part is many of these mentor are former contestants. Amy Pine, Melissa Grey, and Olivia Hinebaugh among others were all entrants to contests I co-hosted. And many others found success and help in other contests. They are eager to give back to the writing community and help other writers.


Remember, anything is possible!

For a chance at a spot in my Snow picks, please use the rafflecopter below.



a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, December 27, 2013

Fellow Fantasy Lover, Danielle Jensen



My first true love was fantasy fiction, and I fell for it at an early age. Both my parents were (and are) big readers, but my dad especially influenced my love of the genre. He read to me every night when I was young, but by the time I’d reached the second grade, he’d gotten sick of kid books and decided it was time to expand my mind with bigger and better stuff. I’d get about a chapter a night (although I always begged for more), and he began with Watership Down (talking bunnies is fantasy, right?), but then quickly moved on to The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, followed by a swath of David Eddings (The Belgariad,  The Mallorean, and The Elenium). A few things came from my nightly listening: an appreciation for Gollum impressions, the (secret) desire to become a pickpocket, and a massive crush on Sparhawk. But what really stuck with me was my fascination with the idea of alternate worlds, and how within them, there were no limitations. 

That fascination never really left me; and fast-forward a couple decades later to when I started writing novels, it was that sort of fantasy where I finally found my footing. Which brings us, I suppose, to my novel STOLEN SONGBIRD, which will be coming out into the world April 1.


So this book I wrote, what genre is it?

When I was looking for an agent, I described it rather generally as “fantasy, with a romantic element.” I was reluctant to be more specific, because truthfully, I wasn’t exactly certain how to classify my novel. It takes place in an alternate world, which according to the ever-reliable source, Wikipedia, makes it High Fantasy. But calling it that felt a bit too grand. Epic Fantasy? That’s certainly how most people choose to classify it, but it has never felt quite right to me either, given that the cast isn’t that large and there is no quest or lengthy journey. So where does Stolen Songbird fit?  Maybe it doesn’t fit perfectly into any category, but that’s okay. One of the best things about writing for the YA market is that, just like fantasy, there are no limitations. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danielle was born and raised in Calgary, Canada. At the insistence of the left side of her brain, she graduated in 2003 from the University of Calgary with a bachelor’s degree in finance. But the right side of her brain has ever been mutinous; and in 2010, it sent her back to school to complete an entirely impractical English literature degree at Mount Royal University and to pursue publication. Much to her satisfaction, the right side shows no sign of relinquishing its domination.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Review of Mistress of the Wind


Bjorn needs to find a very special woman . . .

The fate of his people, and his own life, depends on it. But when he does find her, she is nothing like he imagined, and may just harbor more secrets than he does himself.

Astrid has never taken well to commands. No matter who issues them . . .

She's clashed her whole life with her father, and now her lover, the mysterious man who comes to her bedroom in darkness and disappears to guard his mountain by day as a bear, is finding it out the hard way. And when he's taken by his enemies, no one is prepared for Astrid's response.

It is never wise to anger the mistress of the wind . . .

A captivating and magical adult retelling of the fairy tale East of the Sun, West of the Moon.


I picked this book because of the beautiful cover and for once the inside lived up to the cover art!

Mistress of Winds is a story about a man, Bjorn, cursed to be a bear and find his love before a year runs out. If he fails, he must marry the troll queen’s daughter. I expected the other half of the equation, the love, in the form of Astrid, to be a weak character. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Astrid carries the show. She is strong, inquisitive, and not about to take anyone words at face value. Soon she discovers she has power in her own right.

Half the fun of this book was looking for all the references to myth and fairy tale. The author added great twists to many old folklores. I spotted parts of the Cupid and Psyche myth and The Brown Bear of Norway, all done in a fresh and exciting new way. It held my interest all the way through.

There was warning that this story wasn’t for younger readers. This warning worried me because I don’t care for books with graphic passages, but there was only one short scene of that kind in Mistress of Winds and it was very inoffensive.

This is one of the best books I’ve received from Net Galley, I’d highly recommend it.

  

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Query Tips and Advice

I won't claim to be an expert, despite hosting many query contests (Query Kombat, New Agent, Sun versus Snow, and Nightmare on Query Street), but I have read a fair share of queries. I've also written my share and critiqued dozens. So these are some tips from a quasi-amateur on what works in a query and first page. 




Much of querying is going to be subjective. Happening to have that concept an agent is on the lookout for. Using the name of an agent's pet cat without knowing it. Setting your story in an agent's favorite vacation spot. Matching the sense of humor of an agent or their love of a dark tale.

Beyond creating a top notch concept which is super marketable, those are things that are serendipity. Entirely based upon luck and for which you can't plan. (Though you can research. Getting to know something about agents will help you gear your query toward an agent.) These are not always things you can write into your query letter and first page. But there are things you can do to make your query stronger. 




The Foundations of a Good Query:

Much has been said about the benefit of a strong beginning hook. A hook is important, but the query will fall apart if the rest of the paragraphs let it down. Here are some other things that matter.

Be Clean: First off, the simplest advice. You want to catch those typos and missing words. You want to be sure your have commas where they belong. Which means get some unbiased eyes to examine your query for mistakes. Mistakes in a query and first page will hurt your chances. (More on first pages in another post.)

Motivation: The reader needs to be able to determine what makes your main character tick. There should be something in the query to show why your character needs to react. What is propelling them forward, instead of sitting at home? Maybe their family is in danger. Maybe they want to regain their memory. Maybe they'll do anything to find love. But there has to be a reason, because that reason tells us something about your character. It's what will make us care about them, or on the other side, hit delete if the motivation is not there.

Stakes: It's not enough to tell us why a character has to accomplish something. You have to tell us what happens if they fail and what happens if they succeed. In other words, nail the worst case scenario and the best. And, the difficult part, you have to be specific when you do this. No generic cliche is going to catch someone's attention among the hundreds of queries out there.

Avoid side plots: Stay away from venturing too far from the main plot/concept. A good book is going to be full of other things that the main character desires and complications that arise. Those should definitely be in the story, but they only make the query confusing. Avoid confusion. Focus on your main problem. The only exception being to include any romance that might be blossoming. That can usually be done in a query without being distracting.

Limit Named Characters: Another way to keep the query on track is to only name a very few characters. Keep it simple with identifying characters. The last thing you want is an agent going who is this guy again? They have enough to remember. 

Three is a good number of names to stick to. Too many names and places slow down a query and make it difficult to follow. That's not to say you can't use general identifiers like: her parents, work friends, humpbacked lab assistant. That fixes the relationship with the main character without bogging the query with a lot of names.




Creating a Super Query: 

Beyond the basics what can you do to make your query stand out above the hundreds that are out there? These are the sort of things that make the difference between a strong query and a super query that gets you into contests. 

Voice: The best and most effective way to make your query stand out is to fill it with voice. Let the attitude of your character shine. The query should almost seem to be coming out of their mouth. (Of course you need to stay in third person, which is why this is hard.)

And why is that good? Because it shows us what your main character is like. You know the saying, 'that's a man I'd like to have a beer with.' That's what you're going for with voice. Convincing us this character is someone we want to spend time with. You are putting your character's personality on display by the words and slang you use in your query.

Details: I touched on this in the stakes section, but I can't stress it enough. Be specific in your details. There's nothing more boring than a bunch of cliche lines. She has to save the day. He must rise to the challenge. Save what? Rise to what? Don't be cagey, tell us.

And the details should go beyond the stakes. Why? Because details show about a character. I remember one entry (first page) in Query Kombat that I picked specifically because of a mention of a pink flipflop and the noise being something her mom hated. That shows me something about the main character!

Make sure you use the right sort of details that make your character interesting, that bring out something about them. The wrong sort of details just make a query confusing as mentioned under avoiding side plots and extra names.

Set the tone: This might relate more to me, a subjective thing, but I like a query and/or first page with humor. If you book is humorous then that should be on display in your query. Conversely, if your story is dark, your query should reflect that.

Use the query to set the mood. In a query, the rules about avoiding adjectives don't apply so strictly. A query is short. You need to use the space you have and that means resorting to adjectives at times. They can be useful both for setting the tone and for creating voice.

Unique: Most of the information in this bottom section has been about establishing the personality of your main character and carrying that into the query. Focus on what makes your book unique. Being sure to detail what is unique about your story is another way to enlarge our knowledge about the character, but it can also go beyond characters.

If you story is set in a unique location, make sure you include that. If there is something different about your plot, make sure we know. 

And warning: Don't hide things as a 'surprise' for the reader by keeping them from your query. (Except for endings and big twists.) If your query doesn't hook, there's not going to be a second chance to awe us.

I heard from lots of people that didn't want to give too much away in a query. If the query doesn't hook us, it's not doing it's job. Like using specific details, unique qualities in your story are too important to save for later. 

A super query goes beyond the motivation, plot, and stakes of a story. A super query gives us a sense of personality, mood, and uniqueness. A super query makes us want to know more, makes us care. 

So there you have it. An incomplete--I'm sure--list of ways to make your query stronger. I hope it helps make creating your query a little easier and gives you more confidence.  

What's the best advice you've every had on a query?

Monday, December 23, 2013

Getting the Call: Amy Pine

It's always wonderful to share the story of someone who has gotten a book deal, agent, or self-published. But it's even better when you had a small influence in helping that person. Please welcome Amy Pine, Sun versus Snow mentor, to tell her story.



Hi Michelle! And since Query Kombat gets a mention here, I’m throwing out a virtual wave to SC and Mike too. Hi guys!

While this is the story of how I got my publishing deal with Entangled’s Embrace line, it’s also a story about the possibilities offered by writing contests and the wonderfully inviting online writing community.

So, back in May, I entered my first new adult manuscript, IF ONLY, in Query Kombat. My QK name was O Captain My Captain. I know—is she referencing Whitman or Dead Poets Society? Hint: it’s in the book.

If you are a querying writer, then you know. You KNOW. Writing the query is rough. Sending out queries to agents or pubs is terrifying but also exhilarating. Entering your query and first 250 words in an online query contest where you put your pitch out there for others to read and critique? ALL OF THE FEARS. At least, that’s what it was like for me. I had never done a writing contest before, but when Michelle tweeted about Query Kombat, I decided I had to start somewhere. Plus, the contest was accepting new adult entries, and I just happened to have a completed new adult manuscript. A lot of writers entered the inaugural Query Kombat, and there were more entries than there were spots to fill. I was very fortunate to get chosen for one of those spots. I made it in to round one of the contest but lost to my opponent by one vote. It was a fabulous round, really intense, both of us tied for much of it. Throughout all of this, I connected with other Kombatants in the comment fields and on Twitter. Everyone cheered each other on, even those in brackets against each other (me and my opponent included). And even though I didn’t make it through to the next round, I met so many new writer friends and had wonderful notes on my pitch from many of the participants and the judges. I printed out all of the comments and used them to rework my query.

And then I entered another contest.

NA Alley, a great blog for all things new adult, held a pitch contest in June with editors Karen Grove and Nicole Steinhaus of Entangled’s new adult imprint, Embrace. The catch? They didn’t want a whole query. My pitch could only be THREE sentences. So that new pitch I polished using the QK comments—I had to shrink it down to three sentences. With the help of my critique partners, I did. My three paragraph query turned into this:

                       
It’s been two years since twenty-year-old Jordan was in love—which means it’s been forever since she, well, you know. But now she’s off to spend her junior year in Aberdeen, Scotland, the perfect place to trade in her reissued V-card. Sexy, sweet Griffin may be her perfect, no-strings-attached match, yet Noah, the boy with impossible blue eyes, a knack for quoting her favorite movies…and a girlfriend, makes her reconsider what love means and how far she’s willing to go for the right guy.

Two weeks after posting my pitch, NA Alley announced the contest results. Entangled requested my full manuscript, and I submitted to Karen and Nicole on June 25. Entangled is great because they tell you upon submission that you will hear back within thirty days, and I did! Four weeks after my submission, I got an email from Nicole asking if they could have it for a few more weeks. Of course I said yes. Exactly three weeks later, I got an email from Karen Grove asking if we could talk on the phone. Again, YES. We set a call up for a couple days later. I was super nervous on the phone, but Karen was so nice. What’s more, she loved my book and wanted to publish it.

This pitch for this book that I was so scared to put out there, especially in an online contest setting, found a really great home. Now I’m in the middle of edits and hoping to stay on track for a February or March release!

Query Kombat gave this manuscript its start, so thanks Michelle, Mike, and SC for giving me that initial opportunity. Thanks also to freelance editor Taryn Albright for her excellent Reader Report and my wonderful CPs/betas (Jen, Natalie, Megan, Amy, Lucas) who helped me edit the manuscript and pitch and who are still seeing me through revisions as I get closer to publishing.

I guess I’m a pretty good advocate for writing contests. They’ve worked really well for me. If you are considering an upcoming contest (maybe Sun vs. Snow), know that so much good can come from participating, no matter what the outcome. By the way, guys, this all happened before getting an agent. There are so many different roads to publishing, and with IF ONLY, the contest route took me to a really great destination.

          

Amy (AJ) Pine writes stories to break readers’ hearts, but don’t worry—she’ll mend those hearts with a happily ever after…maybe. The first book she wrote was YA, but now she’s two-timing her first love with NA. Her debut new adult contemporary romance, IF ONLY, releases with Entangled Embrace in 2014. She's repped by Courtney Miller-Callihan with SJGA. You can find Amy on twitter: @AJ_Pine, Facebook, and at ajpine.com.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Sun versus Snow Query Contest Logo!


Here is the logo for Sun versus Snow! Doesn't it fit the contest perfectly? Thanks to Amy Trueblood for inviting Cat York to help us out with her terrific artwork. She really caught the theme.

I hope you're all polishing those manuscripts and queries so Santa can bring you a spot in Sun versus Snow. You don't want to be on the naughty list.

If you're looking for all the details about Sun versus Snow check out the announcement post here. But we will be accepting Adult, NA, YA, and MG genres. You'll send your most fluffiest query and your frostiest first 250! 

To enter to win a free pass into the Snow picks, go here. I'll paste the rafflecopter here too.  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, December 20, 2013

Inside Scoop on Submissions from Skylar Dorset

Please give a warm welcome to Skylar Dorset whose book THE GIRL WHO NEVER WAS will be released from Sourcebooks in June 2014. Skylar is going to give us a look inside the world of submission!



So you finish writing a book, and you feel like a million bucks.

And then you have to get an agent.

But then you get an agent, and you feel like a million bucks.

And then the book goes out on submission.

I can’t tell you that being out on submission is the hardest part of the process, because it’s all the hardest part of the process, because the truth is the process, from beginning to end, is just hard.

When I was out on submission, though, I found it really frustrating. I’m one of those Type A personalities. I want to get things perfect. I’m so eager to fix things. When you’re trying to get an agent, there’s so much information out there: so many lists on what your query should say, so much advice from the agents themselves, so many people willing to help give you a polish. The obsessive part of me was happy to gobble up everything I could, to arm myself as well as I could.

I found submission to be the opposite of this. Editors would pass on your book, and frequently the only feedback given was vague. Sort of “This isn’t for me,” or “Not the right time right now,” or “I just didn’t connect, but good luck!” Everyone was very nice, but I felt so powerless. I wanted to make them love my book, and it was so hard to know how to do that.

If you’re out on submission, I think the key is to prepare yourself for that, to brace yourself. To a high degree, things are out of your hands. You have to trust your book—and, by extension, yourself—and that can be a hard thing to do sometimes.

I was out on submission for several months before I finally got some solid feedback. During that time, I distracted myself by working on something new. I figured there wasn’t much I could do about the book that was already done and out there, so I turned my attention to new projects. And I kind of enjoyed just fiddling around with them. Having one book out on submission seemed to free me from pressure when it came to the next manuscript, seemed to give me permission to let the new project wander around a bit before finding a focus.

And then, once I did get feedback, I considered it seriously. Part of my feedback was to request a bit more fleshing-out of my main character’s family, and I thought, to do that correctly, I would have to re-write quite a bit, including altering the book’s climax some. My agent said it was my decision, but, after mulling it over, I realized that the suggestions would make my book a better book. I incorporated the ones that made sense. Although I admit it took me several more weeks to get them done. And then, once I made those changes, it wasn’t very long at all before I sold the book. The changes, I think, really helped.

It’s all hard, but at the end of the day you might get a book out of the whole thing, and that makes it worth it.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Skylar Dorset likes sunny days, snowy days, cups of tea that have reached the perfect temperature, books that make her laugh, characters she wants to be friends with, Skype, baseball, puppies, lots of British television, lilacs, eggs Benedict, the sound of a clock chiming, her family and friends, and writing. After growing up in Rhode Island, Skylar went to Boston College and then Harvard Law School and wrote her first novel, THE GIRL WHO NEVER WAS, mainly on the subway. (It breaks down a lot.)

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Fall Query Extravaganza 19

Here is the last query of the Fall Query Extravaganza. Now I'm taking a break from critiquing until after Sun versus Snow. To learn more about the Sun versus Snow query contest and a chance at a free pass, go here.

Participants must comment on as many queries as they can to pay it forward. All query critiques are subjective. And rabbits don't come out of my hat, but I'll do my best. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buy one and I'll throw in a set of free steak knives, just pay separate shipping and handling fees.


As sent to me:


Dear Agent:

I saw your website that you love fairy tale retellings, and I think you would be interested in seeing my YA manuscript, Red: The Valerie Bennett Diaries. This novel showcases a more adult fairy tale but holds a whimsical spirit that captivated us as kids.

Dear Reader, I’m sorry to say the fairy tales you know are wrong.  Red would know since she was there. When the Queen of Hearts goes missing, Red Riding Hood must stop the big, bad Wolf from seizing the crown. Witches and beasts are only a few creatures standing in her path, but the real danger might lie with whoever has captured the Queen.

Red visits classic figures like the Frog Prince and Snow White as she travels to regain the memories she has lost, but seems to care more about protecting the people the royals wish to step on. Her story is a new twist on the old battle for who will rule the fairest lands.

The tone is sometimes humorous, sometimes dark, but always digs deep to show who these fairy tale characters really are beyond the stories we all know. As requested from your guidelines, a synopsis and the first chapter are located below.

I am currently serving as a Creative Intern for Spencer Hill Press and Marketing/PR Intern for REUTS Publications and it would be a pleasure to send the full manuscript to you upon request. Most importantly, thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


With comments:

Dear Agent:

I saw on your website that you love fairy tale retellings, and I think you would be interested in seeing my YA manuscript, Red: The Valerie Bennett Diaries. (Titles in all caps or in italics) This novel showcases a more adult fairy tale but holds a whimsical spirit that captivated us as kids.

Dear Reader, I’m sorry to say the fairy tales you know are wrong. (You've gone out on a limb with a gimmicky start to your query. This could either really interest agents or really turn them off. It's going to depend on the agent. Perhaps see if this version gets results and if not go with a more conservative start.)  Red would know (I'd avoid repeating 'know' and use something like 'tell' instead. Also this is a different tense than the rest. Red can tell you since she was there.) since she was there. When the Queen of Hearts goes missing, Red Riding Hood must stop the big, bad Wolf from seizing the crown. Witches and beasts are only a few of the creatures standing in her path, but the real danger might lie with whoever has captured the Queen. ('Might' is a qualifier and it weakens. Always make your sentences as strong as possible and that means not saying 'maybe.' ...the real danger lies with whoever captured the Queen.)

Red visits classic figures like the Frog Prince and Snow White as she travels to regain the memories she has lost, (You've drifted into telling about the story instead of crafting an enticing blurb. And the memory loss comes out of nowhere.) but seems to care more about protecting the people the royals wish to step on. Her story is a new twist on the old battle for who will rule the fairest lands. (I thought it was the 'fairest in the land', not the fairest land.) I'm not sure about the other side of the stakes. I know what Red wants to do, though I'm not sure why. But what happens if she fails?

Sounds like getting her memory back is Red's motivation. Here's a quick example:

Dear Reader, I’m sorry to say the fairy tales you know are wrong.  Red can share the tale since she was there. When the Queen of Hearts goes missing, Red must stop the big, bad Wolf from seizing the crown. Saving the Queen is the only way Red can recover her memories, and no brainless witches or bullying beasts are going to stop her. But the real danger lies with whoever has captured the Queen.

Someone like The Frog Prince or Snow White hold the answers Red needs. She has no regrets against wring it out of them, because she discovers she's not the only one suffering. It's all about protecting the people the royals usually step on. If this tale's to have a happy ending, Red has to save the fairest of the land from blank or blank will happen.

The tone is sometimes humorous, sometimes dark, but always digs deep to show who these fairy tale characters really are beyond the stories we all know. (Try ...but always takes you deeper into the characters we all know. I always lean on the side of having a humorous query if your story is funny or a dark query if your story is dark. In other words show in your description the mood of your story instead of telling the agent. Your first sentence has that quirky humor, but then it vanishes.)As requested from your guidelines, a synopsis and the first chapter are located below. (But I'm not seeing the word count anywhere. That's a red--haha-- flag, though perhaps you're not finished.)

I am currently serving as a Creative Intern for Spencer Hill Press and Marketing/PR Intern for REUTS Publications and it would be a pleasure to send the full manuscript to you upon request. Most importantly, (I'm pulling a Query Shark and saying to cut this. :-)) thank you for your time and consideration. Good bio.

Sincerely,

There's a lot to like here. This query starts out with a gimmicky and humorous opening, but then it loses it after the second sentence. I would try and keep that same voice all through the main description part of your query.

Add what will happen if Red fails and make sure you clarify exactly what Red wants.   


A Review of The High Druid's Blade



Four out of five stars.

I first read Terry Brooks as an older teen on vacation in Nebraska visiting my grandparents. There really wasn’t much else for a shy girl to do in Nebraska but immerse herself in reading. It was my first venture into epic fantasy as most of my other picks were classics. The Sword of Shannara was unlike anything I’d ever read before and it hooked me on the fantasy genre forever after, making me a lifetime fan of Terry Brooks.


Now as an adult and a fantasy writer, I welcomed the chance to preview the latest Shannara novel. A chance I was given by Net Galley. (If you don’t know Net Galley, you should. It’s a review service where librarians, teachers, and reviewers can get advance copies in exchange for their opinion on the books.)

The High Druid’s Blade is more the saga of the main character’s life than the usual quest. Paxon Leah is a descendant of both the Leah and Ohmsford families and has inherited the famous Blade of Leah.  When his sister is kidnapped by the evil sorcerer, Arcannen, Paxon must discover the magic that rests in the blade and free his sister. Everything grows more complicated as Paxon is invited to become a protector of the famous druids.

This book is full of twists and turns, some of which were predictable, but that didn’t limit the fun of the read.  Plenty of magic and plenty of action! I was glad to see a departure from the usual formula in the Shannara books. No big quest to save the world, instead more development on the inner life of the druids at Paranor and the politics behind the Federation. More focus on the life of the main character as he finds his place in the world. Vulnerable and uncertain, Paxon is a hero in the making.  

In Arcannen, Brooks has the makings of one of his more complex villains. This guy knows how to take a bad situation and make it worse.

The only complaint would be the amount of distance from the characters. Instead of being shown their personality thought their actions or conversations, we were told all about them. While a quicker way to get things done which no doubt saved on word count, this kept me from discovering the characters for myself and instead spoon-feed me their life stories. Often whole scenes and events were skimmed over with summaries instead of being full of life and details.As for instance Paxon's training to be a druid protector. 

It made the characters feel a little flat and kept me having a true connection with them. But as that has been the style of writing since the beginning of the Shannara series, it’s a small tradeoff to make for another adventure in this old friend world of magic.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Happy Release for CLASS OF '98 and a Giveaway



Jackie Dunn and Matt Stewart barely knew each other in high school, back when she was a blue-haired alterna-kid and he was a preppy jock. High school rules dictated they'd never hang out, or sit at the same lunch table, or God forbid, date.

But when a weird storm transports them from their ten-year reunion back to senior year, they have to work together to figure out a way to get back to 2008.

Stuck in high school, Jackie and Matt agree to tough it out. They agree to do everything exactly as they remember, even though that means staying with the boyfriend Jackie knows will betray her, or playing nice with the girl that will someday be Matt’s ex-wife. Soon, they come to rely on one other, even become friends.

Jackie’s just starting to get used to curfews and term papers again, when Matt hits her with the biggest surprise of all: he’s fallen in love with her. He’ll change the past however he has to if it means a future with Jackie. But Jackie’s terrified they’ll not only alter their lives, but the lives of everyone around them.


Back to the Future meets She's All That, Class of '98 is a young adult/adult crossover that will appeal to teens and adults.


Links:


I'm happy to celebrate with a friend from Agent Query Connect on her release day! Don't miss this giveaway of 4 ebook copies of Class of '98 + $10 in iTunes gift cards.


 a Rafflecopter giveaway

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A. L. Player teaches middle and high school English in Atlanta, GA.  She lives with her guitar-playing, English-teaching husband and their three crazy rescue dogs.  Her last name gets about the reaction you'd expect. CLASS OF '98 is A.L.'s first novel.

Author Links:

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Query Questions with Shira Hoffman

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

 

Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!

If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.

I'm excited to get in one more Query Questions before the holidays with Shira Hoffman of McIntosh and Otis, Inc.  

Is there a better or worse time of year to query?

Great question! I know this is one that a lot of people wonder about.  The short answer is no, I read everything that comes in, no matter when you send it. 

The long answer is that certain times of year are busier for me personally, so sometimes response times are longer.  This is particularly true in September when everyone comes back from vacation, and in the winter over the holidays, when our  offices close between Christmas and the New Year.  That said, we always try to keep response times as short as possible and pay very close attention to everything that comes in.  Our office has a non-response policy on any query that isn’t requested.  The details can be found here: http://mcintoshandotis.com/submissions.html.  I try to update my Twitter followers on my queries about once a month.  Feel free to follow @ShiraSHoffman for updates.


Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?

If I see a lot of typos in the first few sentences that would certainly give me pause.  However, I’m looking for the quality of the writing and the originality of the idea.  Typos might make me think twice about taking on an author, but they certainly won’t dissuade me if the project is something I really love.  


Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?

I always look at sample pages without fail, even if the query doesn’t interest me.  This is especially true, because I will often pass on promising works to other M&O agents when a project is not for me.  The quality of a writer’s work is what I am interested in, and some writers really struggle with their query letters.  That said, if the query letter doesn’t do a good job of getting the hook across, the first page needs to grab me.  Authors should always do their best to make a query letter clear and concise to give themselves the best possible shot at being noticed.  One main reason I will reject a project is if I feel like I don’t understand the premise or where the story is going, so make that query letter count!


Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?

Great question, although to me those two options aren’t mutually exclusive.  I check all my queries myself and read each project.  However, I do also have an assistant who helps me by taking a first or second look and identifying projects she thinks I will like.  This is actually great for authors. It means that you have at least two professional reads on every query you send me. 


Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?

As I mention above, I often pass queries along when they aren’t right for me and if I think they would be of interest to other agents at M&O.  Writers should absolutely never query two agents at the same agency at the same time. However, if they want to query another M&O agent once the first agent has passed, they certainly could.     


Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?

I always prefer to hear about the manuscript upfront.  The only time I’m interested in hearing something personalized is if there is a specific reason the author chose to query me.  For example, if I represent an author whose work is similar that would be great to mention.  Sometimes I’ve had an online interaction with an author or met them at a conference, and that should always be included as well.  The important thing is to keep it short and sweet, and then get to the story! It’s best to save your personal info for the bio paragraph and let the work speak for itself. 


Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?

I do feel keeping the characters names down in a query letter is essential.  There is no hard and fast rule, but the more names you use, the more confusing it gets and the more explaining you have to do.  Don’t get too bogged down in the details in your query letter.  The point is to get the big picture across, so agents know what we are looking at.  Querying is all about marketing yourself and your book, so try to think of an exciting way to sum everything up and get agents engaged instead of giving a blow-by-blow of the plot points. 


Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?

It’s true that titles and character names often change from acquisition to publication.  That said, writers should give these elements as much thought and attention as any other part of their book. The character names tend to be less important to me personally in terms of making a manuscript shine.  However, a great title that really fits a book can make it stand out in a crowded marketplace.  Sometimes publishers can help with that, but if a writer comes up with an amazing title it will always impress me.  Not to mention a great title can help editors see your vision for the project right from the start. 


How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?

Right now, I think I’m averaging about 100 a week.  It definitely varies from day to day and season to season.  It’s hard to say how many I request in a given week; usually, it’s no more than one or two.  That said, I don’t have any given quota I’m looking to fill.  If I liked ten manuscripts in one week, I would request them all!


Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?

The only time a Twitter account or blog presence would tip the scale for me is on non-fiction projects where platform is important.  For fiction, having a built-in audience right out of the gate is great, but it’s something that can be cultivated over time if an author hasn’t already started working on it.  I do recommend that writers use social media or blogging to grow their fan base, but it’s not a requirement. 


Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?

No, links in a signature aren’t offensive.  However, writers should be careful because sometimes emails containing links can trigger our spam filters, which are unusually aggressive.  I’d suggest omitting them when querying M&O, just to make sure your emails get through. 


If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?

This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  Please don’t send me revised manuscripts, unless I’ve asked to see a revision or have previously considered and corresponded with you on the project.  Make sure your manuscript is in the best shape it can be in before you send it out.  If you’ve revised in the meantime that’s something we could discuss if I request a full or we are discussing representation. If I see potential in something no amount of post-submission tinkering is going to change that; the same can be said for the opposite.  Since we have often started reading by the time you resubmit, all submitting a revised manuscript does is cause frustration for the agent.   
  

What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?

This is a hard question as that phrase can encompass so many things.  For me, it usually means this is a genre or story that is not something I personally want to focus on as an agent.  So, for example, I am not big on political thrillers or family sagas.  Even if you’ve written a great story in these genres, your book will be “just not right for me.”  Overall, I think this phrase is generally used when an agent is not going to be enthusiastic about working on your book.  Whatever the reason, the agent is letting you know that you should keep looking for the person who is the right fit and is going to be passionate about your project.    
  

Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?

I’m an extremely hands-on agent in terms of editorial work. It’s so difficult to sell a project these days that still needs any kind of editorial work!  That’s why it’s essential to have an agent who will work with you before the project goes out.  I usually go through at least 1 or 2 rounds of edits with an author before sending a book to editors.  That said, if I feel something is ready to be submitted as is, I wouldn’t hesitate to send it out. How much editorial work needs to be done before submitting is a decision I always make with the author on a case-by-case basis.    


What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?

I’m still searching for a good contemporary romance with a dash of western or southern flavor.  I would also be really interested in finding a memoir that tells modern stories of women in (or impacted by) the military, something in the vein of Un-Remarried Widow by Artis Henderson, a great book coming out from S&S this January. 

As a challenge, I would be enthusiastic to see a women’s fiction novel or even some kind of a commercial non-fiction project that engages with the backlash against "rape culture" that has been so prominent online this past year.  I feel this last wish would be particularly hard to fulfill, as the subject matter is difficult and the right balance would be very hard to find.  That said, I’m hopeful someone out there will write a book that would increase awareness on this important issue while telling a compelling story.  If you think that person might be you, I’d certainly be interested to see your project. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Shira Hoffman began her career in publishing as an intern at Tor Books and started working at McIntosh & Otis, Inc. in 2007. In 2013 she took over as M&O’s Director of Subsidiary Rights. Shira is currently developing her own list and is interested in a broad range of fiction and non-fiction in the adult market as well as an occasional YA or middle grade title. Her primary interests include mainstream commercial fiction, mystery, literary fiction, women’s fiction, romance, urban fantasy, fantasy, science fiction, horror and dystopian. She is particularly keen to acquire projects that blend genres in new and interesting ways and she hopes to discover writers with well developed and original voices.