Saturday, May 4, 2013

My Death Notice

In response to a game inviting people to postmortem their writing friends, I received this from Sean Jenan:

Michelle Hauck just emailed me to inform me of her untimely death (Ironic isn't it? Turns out aol accounts are the only ones they use in the afterlife! Use gmail? You're SOL!)

Many of you know how many times Michelle's query letters have driven agents from their jobs, and even proven fatal. Crafted from the very pages of the Necronomicon, spun with the ancient lore of Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth, they are letters that drive mortals to madness and death. It seems Michelle was tinkering with her query letter for Pygmy Hazards, and in order to check the formatting, decided to send it to herself. It was not an inbox item she would survive.

Clicking on the letter, not realizing the danger, Michelle unleashed its dark magic. An enormous cardboard sword fell from the shelf above her desk straight toward her neck. It was a full-scale mockup of her Kindar artwork, sent to her by Divertir just last week to celebrate the upcoming release of Kindar's Cure. But those were happier times. According to Sheriff P. T. Rickley, the papercut was the worst one he's seen in twenty-three years on the force.

Michelle is survived by a husband, two children, a talking hamster, and an empty rabbit hutch. Her class full of pygmies have agreed to read chapters for her many critique partners.

Yes, I still use AOL for my email. And yes, I seem to be cursed to drive agents from their jobs (I cannot deny there was a death involved) after requesting a partial. But I deny being fixated by swords. Nor do I talk to hamsters. Anymore. 


  1. Whaaa? lol One died?!

  2. Funny, I just came from her blog and she seemed alive and well.

  3. Whew! so glad this is only a game...cause Michelle deserves to be alive and well so she may fully enjoy her accomplishment w/her new release/congratulations!