The Agent Greeting Contest is closed.
Dear Manly face Agent:
My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting.
One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.
Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)
Dear Scooter Pie Agent:
In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.
If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.
Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:
The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents.
A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address.
Dear Alien-abducted agent:
I will post the winners on August 8th.
That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!
Dear Soon-to-be-Sockless Agent:ReplyDelete
Haha. I love this!Delete
In which I query the most worthy agent Ms. Hauck,ReplyDelete
Thank you for the great contest Michelle! ...and I tweeted :)
Dear Globetrotting agent(stop)ReplyDelete
Earday Agentay owhay isay ymay eamdray agentay...ReplyDelete
N oser-out of
Thanks for the contest! Lighthearted is always good!
Dear Agent who will make me a millionaireReplyDelete
Dear Creatively Inventive AgentReplyDelete
Dear Agent Whom I Less-Than Three:ReplyDelete
Dear keeper of ALL the words,ReplyDelete
Dear Probably (Hopefully) Normal Person to Whom I've Assigned an Inordinate Amount of ImportanceReplyDelete
Dear Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear Agentus Maximus.ReplyDelete
Dear Future Surrogate Parent to My Precious BabyReplyDelete
Dear Prom Queen Dream Launching Liaison & Pretty Please Don't Dear Author Me I heart you Shmoopie Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear Internationally Super Famous, Uber-Extraordinary, Soon to be Zillionaire AgentReplyDelete
Dear Maker of Dreams-Keeper of Words-Fantabulously Busy AgentReplyDelete
Dear Talent Cultivator, Career Shaper, and Future Money Maker,ReplyDelete
Dear Word Wielding, Manuscript Magic Making, Sorcerer of Stories, AgentReplyDelete
Dear _____________________ form rejecter, query ignorer, wishlister,ReplyDelete
#pitchmaddness requester, not for me-er, I have to passer, askagenter.
Dear Agent of Tired, Poor, Huddled Writers Yearning to be Read,ReplyDelete
Thanks, Michelle, for a fun contest!
To Whom It Most Definitely Concerns:ReplyDelete
Dear Light of My Hook, Fire of My SynopsisReplyDelete
Dear Sir, Agent, Sir:ReplyDelete
Dear Most Splendiferous Gatekeeper of the Hallowed Halls of Publishing Legitimacy,ReplyDelete
Dear breathing a sigh of relief to discover this is about psychic adaptions and espionage and not about vampires and/or dystopian futures Agent!ReplyDelete
Dear Reader of My Precious, the one query to rule them all,ReplyDelete
Dear Agent Who Must Not Be NamedReplyDelete
Dear Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey Agent,ReplyDelete
(Although, even with a timelord agent, I bet we'd still have to wait!)
Dear Agent looking for love...of manuscriptReplyDelete
Dear Saint Agent Literati of the Immaculate Acceptance,ReplyDelete
Receive my query...
Dear Hope my query stands out like a princess at a hag convention Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear hopefully-chocolate-loving AgentReplyDelete
Dear Loves-A-Good-Happily-Ever-After-As-Much-As-I-Do Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear Super Hero, Cape-Wearing Agent Who Has Come to Save My Day,ReplyDelete
Dear Speculative Fiction-reading Imaginator who both appreciates world-building AND can make those business-y phone calls,ReplyDelete
Dear Agent who doesn't like stories in rhyme but just might change her mind this time,ReplyDelete
Dear omg, did you get your hair cut? It looks amazing. I'm not kidding. I could never pull that off but you really have the face for it, you know?ReplyDelete
Dear Obsessed book addict who loves the sound of a turning page and has bloodshot eyes from all-nighters involving books...not booze...well perhaps!ReplyDelete
Dearest Agent upon whom I heap six years of unfulfilled hopes and dreams,ReplyDelete
Dear Agen--ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOAGENT!ReplyDelete
Dear agent who is DOOMED to fall madly in love with my excessive typefaces--because everyone loves those, yeah?ReplyDelete
Dear Spidey-Sensing, Batarang-Tossing, Agent of Steel,ReplyDelete
<3 Dear Eternal-Beloved-of-Literary-Darkness Agent <3ReplyDelete
"Dear LOOK...AT...ME." *ReplyDelete
*while you cannot see it per restrictions of the comment box, this ideal greeting would include a super-imposed image of Severus Snape.
Dear Adventure Finding Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear Secret Agent Ma'am,ReplyDelete
They gave me your number, now please take down my name.
Dear rejection-slinging bad query killing Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear Sitting Up To Take Notice AgentReplyDelete
Dear--just in case you don't get past the greeting my book is written in iambic pentameter and is about robot vampires who yearn to find the secret song of the Dromon and is completed at 300,000 words--Agent,ReplyDelete
Dear (pick me!) Agent (pick me!),ReplyDelete
Dear Free Agent Who I'd Gladly Pay For The Proper Exposure Except I'm Too Classy Or Proud Or Poor...Pick Me! Pick Me!ReplyDelete