Monday, August 5, 2013

The Agent Greeting Contest is Open!

The Agent Greeting Contest is closed.

Dear Manly face Agent:



My teeny-tiny contest is now open! Jump right in and leave your best dear agent greeting. 

One entry per customer, but no limit to the creativity. Feel free to tie your greeting in with your novel. Please try not to duplicate other entries.

Keep it clean. Obscene comments will be deleted. (More contest details here.)

Technically your manuscript does not need to be finished or polished, but it might be a good idea. 

Dear Scooter Pie Agent:

In return, please be a follower of this blog. If you feel like shouting about your greeting, which I'd appreciate, use the hashtag #agentgreeting. Querying can be a depressing business. I want this to be fun and twitter makes everything fun.

If you want to comment on another person's greeting, please do it on twitter so as not to mess up the random number generator.

Dear Make-me-Famous Agent:

The contest will stay open until 5:00 pm EST on August 7th. Then I will randomly draw the five winners and randomly match them up with their agent. (See agent list here.) Winner will need to get in touch with me about contacting their agents. 

A runner-up winner will also be drawn and will receive a copy of either Summer's Double Edge, featuring my short story Frost and Fog, or my epic fantasy, Kindar's Cure. Runner-up winner must live in the United States or Canada and provide an address. 

Dear Alien-abducted agent:

I will post the winners on August 8th.

That's all there is to it. Be as creative as you can and have fun!


56 comments:

  1. In which I query the most worthy agent Ms. Hauck,

    *wink.

    Thank you for the great contest Michelle! ...and I tweeted :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Earday Agentay owhay isay ymay eamdray agentay...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear
    A dmirable
    G orgeous
    E nlightened
    N oser-out of
    T alent,

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Agent-Who-Will-Finally-Get-the-Incredibly-Meaningful-Subtleties-of-My-Exciting-Futuristic-YA-Romance-Novel...

    Thanks for the contest! Lighthearted is always good!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Agent who will make me a millionaire

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear agent-who-will-keep-me-pulling-my-hair-off-until-I-hear-a-reply

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Agent Whom I Less-Than Three:

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear keeper of ALL the words,

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Probably (Hopefully) Normal Person to Whom I've Assigned an Inordinate Amount of Importance

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Future Surrogate Parent to My Precious Baby

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Prom Queen Dream Launching Liaison & Pretty Please Don't Dear Author Me I heart you Shmoopie Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Internationally Super Famous, Uber-Extraordinary, Soon to be Zillionaire Agent

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dear Maker of Dreams-Keeper of Words-Fantabulously Busy Agent

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dear Talent Cultivator, Career Shaper, and Future Money Maker,

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dear Word Wielding, Manuscript Magic Making, Sorcerer of Stories, Agent

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear _____________________ form rejecter, query ignorer, wishlister,
    #pitchmaddness requester, not for me-er, I have to passer, askagenter.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear Agent of Tired, Poor, Huddled Writers Yearning to be Read,

    Thanks, Michelle, for a fun contest!

    ReplyDelete
  19. To Whom It Most Definitely Concerns:

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Light of My Hook, Fire of My Synopsis

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear Most Splendiferous Gatekeeper of the Hallowed Halls of Publishing Legitimacy,

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear breathing a sigh of relief to discover this is about psychic adaptions and espionage and not about vampires and/or dystopian futures Agent!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Reader of My Precious, the one query to rule them all,

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dear Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey Agent,

    (Although, even with a timelord agent, I bet we'd still have to wait!)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dear Agent looking for love...of manuscript

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dear Saint Agent Literati of the Immaculate Acceptance,

    Receive my query...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear Hope my query stands out like a princess at a hag convention Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear hopefully-chocolate-loving Agent

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear Loves-A-Good-Happily-Ever-After-As-Much-As-I-Do Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dear Super Hero, Cape-Wearing Agent Who Has Come to Save My Day,

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dear Speculative Fiction-reading Imaginator who both appreciates world-building AND can make those business-y phone calls,

    ReplyDelete
  32. Dear Agent who doesn't like stories in rhyme but just might change her mind this time,

    ReplyDelete
  33. Dear omg, did you get your hair cut? It looks amazing. I'm not kidding. I could never pull that off but you really have the face for it, you know?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Dear Obsessed book addict who loves the sound of a turning page and has bloodshot eyes from all-nighters involving books...not booze...well perhaps!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dearest Agent upon whom I heap six years of unfulfilled hopes and dreams,

    ReplyDelete
  36. Dear Agen--ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOAGENT!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Dear agent who is DOOMED to fall madly in love with my excessive typefaces--because everyone loves those, yeah?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Dear Spidey-Sensing, Batarang-Tossing, Agent of Steel,

    ReplyDelete
  39. <3 Dear Eternal-Beloved-of-Literary-Darkness Agent <3

    ReplyDelete
  40. "Dear LOOK...AT...ME." *

    *while you cannot see it per restrictions of the comment box, this ideal greeting would include a super-imposed image of Severus Snape.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Dear Secret Agent Ma'am,

    They gave me your number, now please take down my name.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Dear rejection-slinging bad query killing Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  43. Dear Sitting Up To Take Notice Agent

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dear--just in case you don't get past the greeting my book is written in iambic pentameter and is about robot vampires who yearn to find the secret song of the Dromon and is completed at 300,000 words--Agent,

    ReplyDelete
  45. Dear (pick me!) Agent (pick me!),

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dear Free Agent Who I'd Gladly Pay For The Proper Exposure Except I'm Too Classy Or Proud Or Poor...Pick Me! Pick Me!

    ReplyDelete