Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Lessons Learned the Hard Way: TJ Loveless

All professions have a learning curve and writing is no exception. Yet in writing more than other professions, you're on your own. It's a solitary job after all, which means important aspects of the task sometimes get missed. These posts will be a chance for writers to mentor other writers through their confessions of lessons they learned. Lessons that might have been as painful as a pencil poke in the eye.

My friend, TJ Loveless, is here this week to share her lesson. She claims she's not worthy of the title experienced writer, but she's too modest. You're the tops, TJ. You can find TJ on twitter, her blog or facebook.




Every writer has a story all their own. Whether it is beginners and their first steps, those somewhere in the middle, veterans published with their words out in the big, bad world.  All carry words of wisdom, something to learn, hope to accomplish our shared dream – our words out in the world, enjoyed by others and perhaps, some wisdom imparted.

I'm barely past the newbie stage.

A year ago the opportunity to dedicate myself to writing popped unexpectedly into my family's life. I'd been writing full length novels (60k+ words) for the last three years, but had no clue what to do next. Our move to Wyoming let me stay home and learn.

It's been twelve months, four seasons, three hundred and sixty five point two five days. During that time I've learned how to lessen passive writing, to spot scenes of such poetic visuals as to draw a tear to the eye – and cut those buggers from the manuscript.  I've learned to critique for others, to love red ink, try to write queries (Kryptonite, anyone?), and realize while my stories may be similar to others, they carry my unique signature.

But the biggest lesson I learned the hard way?  To have a sense of humor. To laugh at myself, the mistakes I made – and still make – and find the funny silver lining wherever possible.

Rejections hurt and cause gaping holes in our egos.  Every story has a piece of my heart, sprinkled with a little soul for spice. How can they not love it as I do? Rejections can make an author doubt their talents, abilities and imagination.

I'll use this example:  I'm currently writing an Urban Fantasy and gathering every critique possible as I go. In other words, I'm sending it out in rough draft.  I've gathered more than thirty, and I'm only halfway done. I read the pointers, and often end up laughing with tears.

Seriously?  I wrote the following line: “I hugged myself tightly, wrapping my arms around each other.” I'd turned the MC into a pretzel. Luckily, the agent who critiqued it thought the line worthy of four sentences of puns, sarcasm and a “I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Thank you.”  She knew I sent a rough draft, and quickly forgave me. Go ahead, laugh. I did. It is funny and worth a lot of comments. I don't mind – anymore. Before I might have thought about walking away, cursing my stupidity. 

We are human, we make mistakes. Although I'm thinking of applying for that superhero job.

Learn to laugh at your mistakes. An MS received a full request from an independent publisher.  After I ran around the room, squealing in glee, jumped up and down while trying to hug the Hubby, made a complete fool of myself, Hubby had to force me to send the MS. I sat there, deer in the headlights expression, wondering what on earth I'd gotten into this time. I quickly tapped an email, attached the MS and clicked on “Send” before I could change my mind.

Only to find out I'd left out pertinent information such as: My name. Contact information. Other info requested by the editor.  I was mortified.  Burned so red with embarrassment I gave myself a headache.  Kept thinking, What a bloody idiot! Great email, ya Spaz!  I sent the info, apologizing, but made a few remarks aimed in my direction.

I laughed after the second email. So did the editor - who talks to me on Twitter at least once a week.

I now have a great story for others, let them know they aren't alone in the stupid mistakes we all make. It's worth a laugh, and has helped quite a few relax. 

Moral of this rambling blog? Don't be so hard on yourself. Let the mistakes be a stepping stone, I doubt you'll do it again. Laugh, see the humor, make it fun.  And most of all, enjoy this journey. After all, it bears your indelible signature.  


14 comments:

  1. Loved this, T.J.

    I once decided to try my hand at writing a YA historical romance when I was a teenager. Disaster. Cheesy, stereotypical characters, ridiculous plot. Back then I was used to handing my stuff over to beta readers right away. My best friend, also a writer, had a good chuckle and taught me to laugh at it too. In fact, she requested a copy of the story. I used to pull it out to remind myself to do better, and to laugh until my sides hurt.

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    1. Thank you, Joyce :)

      So glad I'm not the only one that attempted romance. My first attempt at romance writing...oh dear LOL!

      It is great to laugh at yourself, definitely helps to put things in perspective.

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    2. The books that are full of stereotypes can be a lot of fun to read. :)

      The closest I've ever come to writing romance has been Sacred Blood, which isn't exactly romance. If I were to try one, I'd probably go against the grain and have everyone die R&J style or break up T&J style. :)

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    3. LOL I might have romantic elements, but just don't have the drive for romance.

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  2. This was a great post. You are absolutely right; laughing at ourselves is the best way to take the edge off our need for perfection. Besides, it keeps me humble and humility teaches me compassion for others. A sense of humor can carry me through so much. Great post, thanks T.J.

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    1. :) Sometimes a sense of humor is all we have until we can push Murphy out of the way. Same in writing.

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  3. I've done that too, reacted too quickly and left something important out. DUH!

    So glad to know I'm not the only one. Thanks for that!

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    1. Seems to be one mistake we all have to make LOL And it does help to know not alone in the mistakes :)

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  4. This is an awesome post TJ. I find as writers, we feel a lot of pressure to try to be perfect. It is good to know that everyone makes mistakes, and it is great to see that you can just laugh it off. Life is too shot :)

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    1. You are right, Caitlin! Life is too short. And let's face it, if we can't enjoy the journey somehow, we may stop :)

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  5. I think we've all had those moments that if we didn't laugh, it might be devastating. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. I feel your pain with reacting too quickly but hey, at least you did it before you changed your mind! :D

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    1. Hit the nail on the head, E.M.

      Yeah, Hubby was goading me constantly until I hit send...afraid I'd back out due to fear LOL Wait for the opportunity then get scared out of your wits when it arrives LOL

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  6. Your story has touched a cord in all of us, TJ. Gotta have a little laughter. Thanks for sharing it.

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    1. I'm glad it made sense :) I just hope everyone can walk away and laugh at themselves as well. If not, visit me, I always do something laugh worthy. And thanks for letting me post!

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