Title: LOVE IS FAKE, YOU KNOW
Genre: YA LGBT Coming-of-Age
Word Count: 93,000
Morgan’s confusion doesn’t lie in the realm of sexuality—no, it feels pretty natural for every daydream and nightmare to include both genders. The real problem is figuring out how to fit into the mold of “high school student” while battling a touchy-feely brother, memories of a step-dad who whistled when he threw punches, and unscrupulous partners with the single goal, it seems, of further degradation. Torn between seeking the familiar and rising above a homophobic hometown in Ohio, Morgan must learn how to give in to temptation without losing control—or else settle for a life riddled with depression and angst. The solution? Create new definitions of morality that ignore society’s expectations. Dignity not required.
Love Is Fake, You Know is a journey through those unforgettably awkward high school years, culminating in Morgan’s coming-of-age and sexual awakening. It is never above leaving out the embarrassing details of a public rejection after a kiss that makes the world stop turning, losing innocence to an emotionless one-night stand, and resorting to self-harm to cope with harsh realities. What Morgan doesn’t realize is that love—that obnoxious concept that can’t possibly be real—might actually be attainable with a little bit of trust and vigilance.
But there’s a catch to this brutally honest Bildungsroman—the reader never learns the gender of the main character. After all, Morgan’s story could be anyone’s.
The manuscript is complete at 93,000 words. Due to its themes and tone, Love Is Fake, You Know will appeal to young adult readers ofThe Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Catcher in the Rye.
6-24-02, Monday, 5:03 AM
I have a weird secret ambition that this journal will be discovered and I’ll end up like Anne Frank or something. Except nothing I write flows quite like Anne’s stuff did. And with any luck I won’t be dying any time soon.
What pushed me over the edge toward writing tonight was a fight with Jacob. We were having a pretty normal conversation about how we can’t wait for band camp when out of nowhere he asked where I wanted to sneak off to when we got there. I sputtered until the only words I could think of came out: “To do what?”
“C’mon Morgan, you know what I wanna do.”
I told him I wasn’t ready to “do stuff.” I have no idea where his idea even came from. I mean, we’ve only been going out for 55 days! He hasn’t even kissed me yet.
His response came out as a hiss through the earpiece: “Don’t act like you’re not easier than that.” I’d never heard him use that tone. It didn’t suit him. What prompted this?
When I firmly told him that I’m just not like that, he seemed to realize his mistake. He apologized a million times and said he was sooooo sorry and that he absolutely does not think of me as “easy.” It’s not that I don't believe him...I really do trust him. It was just a misunderstanding, right?
And honestly, I’m still not sure what he wants to do at band camp.